Chapter Five-Part 1

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I was sittin on Joi's front porch wonderin where the hell I would go now. It was Monday and I had already been here a full day and that n!gga Shawn was on my case somethin hard for some reason. He was really buggin me. I was already on my third cigarette and about to light up my blunt when Shawn came outside with Quis right behind him. Quis ran to Joi's car while Shawn stood on the edge of the porch and he looked at me shakin his head. "I know u gettin tired of me talkin to u but don't smoke that blunt right here. Joi is a police officer if u didn't know." I looked at him and rolled my eyes. I wanted to say somethin so bad but I decided not to.

Joi came out a minute later smilin at me. "Did u wanna go with Shawn today. He's goin to go get his car and maybe ya'll can ride out somewhere together?"

"No thanks," I said puttin my blunts inside my cigarette box. I stood up and wiped my legs off from the weed ends. "I won't be here when u get back."

Joi stopped in her tracks and her smile was now gone. "Why? Where are u gonna go?"

"I don't know. I don't wanna be a burden on ya'll."

"U not bein a burden on us." Shawn scoffed at me and walked down to meet Quis at the car.

Joi walked over to me straightenin out her police uniform and she made me sit down with her. "Beyonce please don't leave. I was thinkin maybe when I got off today, we could hang out maybe go to the movies or have a girls day gettin a pedi and manicure."

"I don't wanna spend money on that stuff. I got other things to use money for."

"Like more weed? Beyonce u need to get real."

"Joi, I appreciate what u've done for me but I'm not gone change. I can't."

"Why?"

I looked at her and could see that she was more than concerned for me than I was for myself. I smiled and held my head down shakin my head. She had so much confidence in me and I couldn't figure out why. I took off my shades and looked at her. "I'm ghetto, that's why. Even Shawn can see that. Like he told me, he's real man and I can see that he's disgusted with me and I don't wanna be around him anymore. He makes me uncomfortable."

"In what way? Did he do somethin to u."

"No and sadly that's my problem. I wanted to f#ck him Joi and he wouldn't even touch me."

"But u gotta understand...Shawn's been thru some things that we can talk about only if u stay here please. I'm beggin u Beyonce. I can tell u wanna change. Give me a chance to help u. What's the worst that could happen?" She spoke while pattin the back of my hand and starin into my eyes.

I wanted to change just for her but change had to start with urself right? I wasn't ready to just yet so I lied to her. "Ahight I'll be here when u come home. I won't go anywhere but just for today Joi."

"Okay. I'll take that. I'll be home by seven. I'm sure Quis will be here at two somethin so please just wait for me Beyonce." She smiled at me and patted the back of my hand once more before gettin up and runnin down the porch steps. As she got into the driver's side, Shawn looked at me with a smirk on his face. I slid my shades back on and walked back into the house.

How could she trust me like this alone in her house. She didn't even know me that well. She really had a good heart. I ran upstairs to Quis' room where I had my stuff and i plopped on the floor to pick somethin outta my bag to wear today. As I laid out one outfit, my cell began to ring. I saw Ty's number on the screen and I ignored it. This was his first time callin me since he dropped me off at home from the club Saturday mornin. He called again and I ignored him again. I realized that I had a text message when I looked at the time.

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