ALL ABOUT BAKING, ALL ABOUT YOU.

CHAPTER 11 - if I let her go..

it's been a month.. yes. a month..

time passed by so quickly that i had no idea that it's been a month.

im still working, still accepting orders of cupcakes, still hanging out with my friends, still breathing perfectly and still alive. and most of all. I'm still checking my Facebook time to time..

haay.. it's been a month...

it's been month and I'm still going crazy about her.

and it kills me know that Im crazy about her and Im getting much more crazier about her not adding me. 

wait.. first of all. why am I crazy about her nga ba? Im just a stranger to her and she's just a stranger to me. it' so happened na I knew her name, her family, her school, and a little information about her. then why is she so special to me?

bakit ba ko nagpapakatanga sakanya?

sa isang taong ni hindi man lang ako kilala?

eh ano naman kung na-love at first sight ako sakanya?

uso naman yon ngayon eh. pero hindi nga lang uso sakin. I know it's very unusual for me na malove at first sight.. 

eh ano naman kung sakanya palang tumibok ung puso ko nang ganito?

I've been asking these questions all along to myself. but until now I still dont know what's the answer.. maybe the only way to find things out is when i talk to her personally... which i think is, impossible now..

pwede ko namang turuan ulit ang puso kong magpakamanhid eh.

tutal sanay naman ako don.

don naman ako magaling eh. ang pigilan ang feelings ko na mahulog sa isang tao..

don naman ako magaling eh.. to push people away from me... yes.. ganon ako.. I admit.. mahirap man aminin. pero yes, ganon ako..

shall I give up?

I think it's time to give up.. wala rin naman tong patutunguhan..

haay..

sabi nga nang friends ko..

"bakit ba nagpapakatanga ka jan eh alam mo namang wala kang mapapala diyan eh. itigil mo na yang kalokohan mo Anne. kailan mo ba marerealize na hindi na tama yang ginagawa mo?"

kahit gusto ko man sila batukan isa-isa nang 10 times pero tama nga sila.. haaay. inuntog ko na yung ulo ko sa pader eh..

I've protected my heart for a very long time... that's the reason why until now single pa ko.. it's  not because walang dumarating.. the truth is ayoko pa. or maybe, hindi ko pa kasi namemeet ang taong pagbubuksan ko ng puso ko ulit. and as much aas i hate to admit it, takot na ko masaktan ng sobra sobra pa ulit..