Chanyeol held the lithe and tiny body in his arms, the sound of sobs and cries slowly dissipating. He'd tried to sneak into bed after he finished his work to find his husband crying in his sleep.
The latter kept mumbling and crying out incoherent words, the former unable to catch everything but his name.
"I'm here, I'm here," Chanyeol whispered softly and soothingly in his husband's ears while running his fingers through his hair.
The act that usually calmed his husband down did nothing but making it worse. The once dissipating cries turned into sorrowful wails.
It lasted through out the night.
Chanyeol, irritated and sleep-deprived, moved to the couch in their living room instead.
______
The smell of bacon and eggs woke him along with the sound of his husband's cheerful voice.
"Good morning, Channie! I made breakfast. I mean--it's not as good as your cooking, but--"
Chanyeol shut him up with a kiss, making him blush wildly. "I'm sure it's delicious."
______
Throughout breakfast, Jongdae wondered when was the last time they had breakfast together like this.
A year ago? A year and a half? He couldn't remember.
"The salt's perfect, a bit too much pepper but it's good," Chanyeol commented as he continued with his breakfast.
He failed to hear his husband's barely audible mutter of "That's weird. I didn't add any salt."
"Channie! Today's your day off, right? Do you want to go--"
"Sorry, Dae. I have plans today."
Focused on his food, he failed to notice the tear that streaked down Jongdae's cheek.
Chanyeol was oblivious to a lot of things. He failed to notice so many things.
He failed to notice his husband's fake smiles, the corner of his lips not curling up like they used to. His husband's tear-streaked face as he greeted him home from work, he didn't see.
He certainly didn't notice the fake smile Jongdae had put on right in front of him.
"Th-That's fine, Channie. Kris hyung and Suho hyung and Baekkie and Minnie asked if we wanted to go on a triple date with them today, but since you're busy, that's fine. I'll just tell them we can't go. Are you done with your food? Here, let me wash your plate for you."
______
More tears escaped as Jongdae watched Chanyeol's retreating back.
He fell to his knees and clutched the book and pen in his hands.
He felt like he couldn't take it anymore.
He didn't know if he could take anymore pain.
Fingers shaking, he opened the book to a blank page, the final one, as he wrote,
Day #547
9/21/2161
Does he still love me? Does he not?
He forgot my birthday, but that isn't too important.
What hurts more is that he forgot our anniversary.
Again.
Does he really still love me?
Under the short entry, he wrote,
私はまだあなたに恋をしている。
(I'm still in love with you.)
______
Jongdae felt his eyes getting heavier. He'd stayed up waiting for Chanyeol to come home.
Slowly, he fell asleep on the couch.
Minutes later, Chanyeol walked through the door, hair and clothes tousled and unkempt, his body reeking of alcohol and perfume, when he'd gone out smelling like soap.
His eyes landed on his sleeping husband. He knew how hard the couch felt, so he carried him to their bedroom.
His eyes widened as he realized how light his husband weighted.
It was too light for a 24 year old grown man.
It felt like he was carrying a five year old child instead.
He gently placed the fragile boy down on their bed, taking in his bony limbs and face.
Chanyeol lifted up Jongdae's shirt slowly, his throat going dry when he saw Jongdae's ribs jutting out.
He was too thin. Too light.
His eyes then looked at a book which was open on the bedside table.
Day #216
Chanyeol says I'm a bad liar.
If I was...why hasn't he noticed? He doesn't notice or know a lot of things.
He doesn't know that I don't eat dinner when I stay up waiting for him.
He doesn't notice me when he's out with someone else.
He doesn't notice how heartbroken I am when he pushes me away.
Ever since he's gotten that promotion, he's barely even noticed me.
Do I still mean something to him?
_
Day #388
Where is he?
He'd promised he'd come.
I can't find him anywhere.
_
Day #461
Jungkook keeps crying.
He wants to meet his Daddy.
I couldn't tell him that his Daddy doesn't even know of his existence.
Who was Jungkook? Chanyeol thought.
Just then, the door creaked open and a toddler walked in with wobbly feet. His eyes locked with Chanyeol as they shone with an innocent glimmer.
"...Daddy?"
YOU ARE READING
Lies <<ChanChen, ChenYeol>>
FanfictionIf you were to ask Chanyeol about the one thing his husband wasn't good at, he'd say "lying". What he didn't know was that Jongdae was an even better liar than he was. Jongdae was a good liar. Too good. Chanyeol himself had fallen for Jongdae's faça...
