street poetry | joshler

5

i stayed under the bed
while my mother
showed josh
the door.

god, why?
there goes the one
chance i had of making a friend.
i began to weep quietly
as i heard my mother
explaining my 'condition'
to josh before he leaves

i don't want this anymore
i don't see any point
if blurry is just
going to screw it all up.

i rolled out from under the bed
i shakily got up
and made my way to the door,
locking it.

i trudged towards my dresser
and i opened up a drawer
revealing multiple socks.
i set aside the socks,
and a little light revealed the spot
where my fingernails
had fought,
and revealed where
i was hiding my secret.

there sat a blade
that i had
stolen out of
an innocent pencil sharpner.

i picked up the small metal piece
and held it between my
index finger and thumb.

i retreated to the corner of my room,
the light coming from out of my window
was slowly starting to dim,
and my room was slowly getting darker.
as well as my thoughts.

i looked at the metal piece
as i thought of josh,
and how he wouldn't even
consider being my friend now.
i lifted my shirt.
i felt two hands
wrap around my
right hand,
which was clinging
onto the blade.

the pair of hands
forced mine down,
onto my stomach.
the cold piece of metal
gliding effortlessly
across my skin.

5 moderately large
openings on my stomach.
they spewed blood,
all down my torso.

i began to panic,
and ran to my dresser.
i reached in the back of my
t-shirt drawer and pulled out
an old, black t-shirt
that no longer fit me.

i used it to wipe up the blood,
using a water bottle
that was sitting on my nightstand.
once the bleeding had stopped,
i shakily got up and
set the blade back into
my sock drawer.

i took off my black jeans,
revealing my plain blue boxers.

i crawled into bed
because the
dark's not taking prisoners
tonight.

-

-

-

i awoke the next day.
i felt all of my energy
drained from my body.

i didn't feel like moving.
i wasn't going to go to school
and see josh
after what happened yesterday.

i don't want to.
he's probably terrified of me
or starting rumors about me.

i pulled my covers
above my head and pulled
my knees to my chest.
i closed my eyes
and waited.

i probably was still
for twenty minutes
until i heard my
doorbell ring.

i heard the door open,
and then my mother's voice.
she told whoever was at the door
to 'come in.'

the answer i heard was
from a calming and familiar voice.
"is tyler home?"
it was josh.

i wanted to melt into my mattress.
i was very scared.
why would he come back?
but i was also very excited,
because he actually came back.

i stayed in bed as i
heard footsteps
coming up the stairs
and near my room.

i sat up,
and right before the door opened,
i realized i didn't have pants on.
i left my lower half
to hide in the covers
as i heard the door click open.

josh's bright, yellow hair
poked into my room.
"hey tyler,"
i smiled and studied him.

today he had on a white t-shirt
with the top half black
and covered in white stars.
he had on black jeans,
and somehow i didn't realize
he was wearing a hat.

he looked really nice.

"hi josh"

[❄;🔥]

heavydirtysoul music video is released.

and blurryface era is over.

•..|-/