street poetry | joshler

6

"i brought you some cookies,"
he calmly stated,
setting them by my bed.

"i didn't know what kind
you liked,
so i made m&m cookies,
because who doesn't like
m&m cookies?"
he chuckled,
and his smile enlightened the mood.
i was no longer a moping mess inside,
but i felt like i was actually wanted.

"thank you josh,
i'm definitely going to eat
this one first." i said,
pointing to the one that was covered mostly in blue m&ms.

"the blue are my favorite."
i calmly stated, looking up at him.
"tyler, they're all the same flavor."
he giggled, leaning on the foot of my bed.
"yeah, but blue is my favorite color."
i proved myself correct,
and giggled as well.

he sat on the foot of my bed and
his expression changed quickly.
"hey ty, can i ask you something?"
my heart sped up.
i nodded.

"who is blurry,
and why does he want you dead?"

my heart sank.
but i also thought about that.
i didn't really know he wanted me dead.
i just thought he wanted to be
a burden on my life;
weighing me down.

but now i realize he does want me dead.

i looked up at josh,
who was looking me in the eye.
"i'm not really sure...
people try to tell me
that he's just my imagination...
but i can't control him,
and he physically attacks me.
it's not like he's my
imaginary friend...
because believe me,
he is not my friend."

i looked up at josh,
slowly processing what i had said.
he nodded slowly,
and then looked back up at me.

"can you ever control him?"
i shook my head no.
"when does he attack?"
i looked at my hands,
which were quickly
picking at one another.
"i-its hard to explain, josh."
my voice cracked.

"its normally when he gets jealous, or feels as if he can take advantage of me."

i looked back at the cookies,
eyeing the mostly-blue cookie.
"can i eat this now?"
i looked back at him,
the cookie in my hand
and his eyes on the floor.
he snapped back into reality
and his smile returned.
oh how i love that smile.

"i don't see why not!"
he giggled, reaching into his
backpack to retrieve something.
"hey josh, you want one?"
i held the plate towards him.
he smiled again and took
one from the plate.

"hey, ty- i got you something."
he reached into his backpack
while munching on the cookie.
he then pulled put a troye sivan
"blue neighborhood" deluxe vinyl.

"i saw you had a record player
and i saw that you've got a few pictures of him hanging around your desk
and so i thought i could go and
buy this for you."
i gasped so loud i might have
scared josh.
i climbed out from under the covers,
revealing my plain, blue, boxers.

i ignored the fact that i was
half naked in front of him.
i sat next to him admiring the album.
i carefully slid out the record,
it's glossy blue plastic was beautiful.

without thinking, i hugged josh.
a few tears escaped my eyes.
no one has ever gotten me a present
except for my parents, of course.

"thank you so much, josh."
i excitedly stood up,
running toward my record player.
"wanna listen now?"
i was extremely ecstatic.

he nodded and i took the
vinyl out fully and set it
on the spinner.

wild began to play and
i jumped back onto the bed
with so much joy.

"this is the best thing i've
ever gotten!"
i rested my head on my pillow
and sang along.

"leave this blue neighborhood,
never knew loving could
hurt this good, oh,
and it drives me wild"

josh humming along,
and looked like what looked to be
'air drumming' along.

i boldly stood up and danced along.
"cause when you look like that,
i've never ever wanted
to be so bad, oh,
and it drives me wild.
you're driving me wild, wild, wild."

i slumped down into a beanbag chair,
where bad memories
from the night before were.
i ignored them, though.
i wasn't going to let that get the best of me.

"gee, tyler,
i didn't know you could sing!"
josh's eyes did the cute squint
that happens so often.

"nah, i'm not really THAT good."
i rubbed the back if my neck.

"no, you're spectacular!"

[💝;👬]