street poetry | joshler

7

it felt like blurry was kicking
me in the sides
as hard as he could.
almost as a
"what the hell, tyler"

i shouldn't have let josh in.
i knew this would happen.
i immediately shrunk into
the underneath of my covers.

i could feel immense pain
swelling in my side.
i tried to cry out,
but no sound came out.

i could hear nothing but
muffled yelling,
but that didn't matter.

i was in pain.

tears rushed down my face
as i clawed at the pain
coming from my side.

i clenched my teeth
and closed my eyes,
trying to breathe,
but not being able to
grasp any air.

i felt real hands on me.
i didn't know who was real.
i don't know why this is happening again.

i wish josh would make this better
but for some reason
its getting worse.
why is blurry jealous?
why can't he be happy?
happy that I'm
trying to be happy.

i heard josh's muffled voice
behind my own cries.
"what's wrong? tyler?"
his voice was on panic,
and i felt his cold hands on me.
i hadn't realized what he was doing.
i was just trying to block blurry out.

the cold hands lifted my shirt,
searching for what i was
scratching at.
what i was screaming
and crying about.

i felt those cold hands
quickly slide my shirt back down.
he knew.
he knew and it was all blurry's fault.

i began to cry out
"please don't tell my mom"
only hearing echoes of
my own voice, bouncing away.

i just kept repeating that,
reaching for the cold hands to touch.
i couldn't grasp anything real.
i struggled to grab something,
but i couldn't.

but the cold hands returned to me.
they wrapped around me,
and the cold hands lead to a
warm, cozy body.

my breathing began to slow down
to a normal pace again,
my yells became soft cries,
and i could here josh's voice clearly now.
"shh, tyler. i'm here. i won't tell her."

i stopped crying out
and nuzzled into
josh's warmth.

he may be the cause
of my issues
but it's not his fault
he's trying to help.

god dammit, blurry.
why do you have to be so selfish?

[🌘;🌒]