[ 23 ]
LIGHT:
"welcome back! did you sleep well?"
CURIOSITY:
"yes, i did, actually. you?"
LIGHT:
"i did, too. thank you for asking. now, shall we pick up where we left off?"
CURIOSITY:
"sure."
CURIOSITY:
"so my question was . . . why have i been feeling this uncomfortable tension in my chest? specifically around my heart?"
LIGHT:
"jimin, are you aware of what lovesickness is?"
CURIOSITY:
"vaguely . . . i only know that some people are born with the disease solely to inflict it onto their lost lovers, but i'm not too educated with the specific effects it can cause."
LIGHT:
"i see . . . would you like me to explain then?"
LIGHT:
"it'll also answer your question."
CURIOSITY:
"please do."
LIGHT:
"lovesickness is a form of mental and physical pain. it's somewhat imaginative as well, for hearts cannot be physically damaged by love. an individual can acquire lovesickness from a breakup or loss so traumatizing, that their conscience 'constructs' a defense so the same agonizing pain will never occur again."
LIGHT:
"of course the body becomes so accustomed to the safety and supervision, that when the guard is down, they begin to panic. they lose all rationality and awareness of the world, and commit remorseful actions without being mindful."
LIGHT:
"if the being were to encounter a potential lover, harrowing pain will pierce the heart as a reminder to stay away. they'll hear voices in their head argue, as if they were the devil and angel on your shoulders telling you what was the best decision to follow. the being often consider the voices, and listen to them because they don't know any better. after all, their defense was built with the help of them, so they would know what's best."
LIGHT:
"that is incorrect, though. you see, the individual doesn't want to make things harder for themselves. they don't want their lives to become more distressing; peace, unity, and love is what they crave. but their guard prevents them from feeling such emotions, leaving the poor being feeling worthless and pathetic."
LIGHT:
"they say your guard is merely trying to protect you, to save you from the familiar harm you've felt in the past. the voices in your head call you unintelligent, ignorant, idiotic, oblivious, naïve, and a plethora of insulting names, all because they're scared for you to fall in love again. because what happens when you fall in love? you're not the only one that will be feeling the pain."
LIGHT:
"although you, yourself, may be able to endure the feeling in exchange for strong affection, your conscience will stubbornly oppose. loving will break their guard they've worked so tediously to create, and that's what causes the distinctive pain in your chest. because of your bravery and determination, you're finally beginning to break your walls down."
LIGHT:
"because that you're loving again, it's giving you the power to overcome."
