Awoken by the light cuts finding their way through the window,
my puffy eyelids crack open by reflex, against my will.
The floor I've lied the entire night on has been so unkind to my aching bones and weak flesh, yet after the muffled dreams and unspoken words, I can feel.
Because the awakening is like waking from a feverish nightly dusk,
like final fall of your heavy mask,
like breaking the first drop of sweat at the hard task - the final straw, the breaking deal.
Yet, he calmly sleeps.
Legs finding their strength to pull my through-and-through wrecked body to stand, carrying its weight, the world's weight, just far enough before my knees bend.
My world will never be the same.
Yet, he steadily breathes.
Numbly, to my thighs I feel my empty hands press, constricting wishes - and emotions tied to them - spiraling inside my chest, throat is weak from hard swallowing, mind going crazy, utter mess. I am an utter mess.
Because of love. Love is breaking me. Love for him is breaking me. He made me an utter mess, sitting on a kitchen stool, unable to control my weakened limbs, my uneven heartbeat, my racing mind. He wrecked me through-and-through, denying us. He's the reason for my sleepless nights, uneasy dreamless fuss. Always uneasy.
Still, he's stealing my breaths, escaping His lips, away from our nest, on my worn-out couch. Restricted of touch, I watch his chest rise and fall, still missing him so much.
****
A/N
This poem was inspired by a Larry Stylinson story from the site archiveofourown.org. The story is called "Core'ngrato" and was written by Velvetoscar. This poem mimics a motif from the story. Recommended reading! :)
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A COLLECTION OF POETRY
PoesiaHello everyone! :) This is my poetry collection and I decided to publish it so I can let all these unspoken words and feelings out of the constricting walls of my computer and phone :D I started writing poems when I was still in high school and they...
