sympathize

being alive

dear eileen,

i would like to tell you how much you mean to me, but after writing and rewriting this letter i'm just not sure how these words could hold enough to explain it to you.

i would like to bring up memories and start with 'i remember' because there are so many good times we had together that i could easily smile because of. but i fear that reminiscing will do nothing but remind you of the past. a past when things seemed so simple and you drew while i read and we loved and didn't care about the world because we had our own. a time when grief was something so easily pushed away and tears were mostly shed from laughter. when we smiled at the daisies and held hands and made promises that never got broken.

so i'm going to say 'i believe' instead.

i believe that things will get better. that the future is as bright as some say and that one day we'll be there to see it for ourselves. i believe that i love you and that i'll be there for you. i believe.

and it may not be much, my beliefs or my words. i'm not some savior with all the answers. i'm just a guy who got lost and made mistakes. one who's trying to make sure the love of his life doesn't do the same thing.

so all i have left to say for this letter is live and believe because hope is done letting us down.

love,
hunter.

p.s. i hope i still have a chance.

p.p.s. at saving you, not being with you.

p.p.p.s. although, that would be nice too.

p.p.p.p.s. okay, i'm done.