Derailed Little Jane Chatwin

Jane knows her twin brother Martin is insane; driven that way by the lusts of another madman. But she had never stopped to consider that perhaps she herself is mad. Yet she sends those kids into battle time and time again expecting a different result, so perhaps she is mad. There was a time when she was the determined adventurer that slipped away to Fillory. The adventurer that everyone, even her brother Martin, wanted to be. Determined little Jane Chatwin, so determined to help Martin she didn't realize that perhaps keeping him away from Fillory was best. Maybe Ember and Umber saw something in him, something black, that she was blinded to. Yet how could she sit by and let Fillory just forget Martin? She should have left well enough alone; gotten Martin far away from Plover and Fillory. But Martin is her twin, he would eventually have found a way. He was just as determined as she ever was, spying on her, slipping into the phone booth after her and insinuating himself into every aspect of Fillory.   

Fillory. Those books by Plover don't reflect the reality of the situation. Martin is written as the little lost boy left behind, while the magician Jane grew to become is distorted into the villain of the piece: the Watcherwoman. Yet does anyone think what it really means to be the Watcherwoman? Sure, she has scared countless generations of kids, but actually being the Watcherwoman... you might control time but you don't control what happens. You can manipulate the course of events but in the end all you do is watch. Watch as once again those kids die at the hands of The Beast, the monster her brother has become. Watch as the wellspring is drained and magic leaves the world. Yes, she must be insane by now because she feels that the outcome is inevitable. Their deaths, Martin's victory, she is doomed to watch this chain of events over and over again. Yet... perhaps... if she's already insane why shouldn't she expect a different result next time?

There is no such thing as safe magic and time magic is even more dangerous, because it's so difficult you usually end up making things worse. Only someone with an imbalance would embrace magic, and only someone crazy would be willing to hinge everything on time magic. Yet time magic is what Jane is best at. With her trusty pocket watch she has been able to create a time loop. This loop allows her to slightly adjust the circumstances every time the kids fight her brother and die. Horribly. Only the kids don't remember and her brother does. That doesn't mean she's going to stop manipulating events in order to transport these magicians to Fillory in an attempt to beat her brother. It means she has to play smarter. Because to Martin this is a game. Martin is nothing more than a boy who never grew up. His trauma made him a very powerful man with the mindset of a little boy. He was hurt at the hands of someone who should have protected him and therefore seeks solace in control; control of the wellspring, control of magic, control of all the doors to Fillory.

But what does Jane want after all this time? Yes, she wants to set things right and save magic. That's what the Watcherwoman in her says. Grow up, be the skeptic she always was and find a way. The girl in her says she must beat Martin. He's made this a game, so she must make it her game. She must stop playing in order to win. Quentin and all of them are in Martin's mind nothing more than Jane's toys, there for him to break. Especially Penny. Oh, how he loves to play with Penny. The problem is they aren't toys. She's grown up and sees these magicians for what they are: tools. Brakebills is like the whetstone to shape her tools into fighting fit. The problem is her tools won't listen to her. They are nothing more than a way to win and they think they have a say in the matter. She knows the outcome, she knows all the outcomes, time and time again, and yet they think they know what's best. They are ignorant.

The worst of them all is Dean Fogg. Why does he always think it's her fault? He should know better. He should know that she's messing with time in order to save them. He remembers. He knows her past and he knows her future so how exactly did this all become her doing? Martin is to blame. Is she just to stand aside and let magic die? Should Martin be allowed to win? She's in a catch-22 where it comes to the Dean. She pushes him for help and he blames her, she sits back and does nothing and they all die and magic is lost. She needs his help and all he does is push back. The students need more time, they need this, they need that. Yes, a Dean is there to protect his students but doesn't he also get that there is a greater good at stake? Sacrifice the few to save the many. If there was any barometer for her tipping over the edge perhaps it comes down to the fact that casualties are acceptable. They are tools, not humans after all, that is the only way she can accept what she is doing.

Yet all these years seem to be having their toll. Not just on her reasoning, but on her tools. Quentin seems more and more unstable. He was once a normal kid who felt a little out of place. A dozen or more rewrites of his life and it's being spent going in and out of mental institutions. Perhaps Lewis Carroll had it right, we're all mad here. But Fillory is in Quentin's blood. That seems to be what saves him time and time again. It's in his DNA. It's his lifeline. He's the volunteer tomato that is always coming back. But he's become more careworn. He never was remarkable to begin with. In each battle he's always been nothing more than another inadequate magician who has lost people. How can she get him up to scratch? The timeline must be accelerated, but how? The Dean is useless saying the kids must come to Brakebills only when the time is right. So she must be content to invade Q's dreams, to speak to his subconscious. To drive him to the mental institutions so that he seeks solace in the books by Plover, so that at least when he arrives at Brakebills he will know Jane's "history" inside and out.

Because the danger of this game is that Martin's able to remember, unlike her tools. He's on a steep learning curve. After each defeat when Jane restarts the time loop Martin has more insight. He is getting smarter and faster whereas she is getting less and less time to get her tools ready. It's just not fair. But she learned very early on, even a childhood blessed by journeys into magical realms might not, in the end, be fair. Her greatest worry was that in their battles they would reach a point where Martin might break free of Fillory and actually bring the fight to Brakebills. That is just what happened this last time. Was it the 37th or the 38th battle? It took longer than Jane liked this time to get Quentin, Julia, Alice, Penny, Elliot, and Margo together as a team. Quentin couldn't get up the courage to talk to Alice until the second term. By then their ability to work as a team was greatly impaired. She would have to push up their meeting the next time. But as for the battle...

The Beast just strode into their classroom, freezing them all in place. Time no longer mattered because the truth is, once Martin was there their time was up. He killed them one by one, marveling at how easy this victory was compared to others. They didn't even put up a fight. They were pinned like moths in a display case. The only survivor was Julia, because she was so enthralled by Brakebills she viewed it as her playground, coming to class only when she felt a need. Julia was becoming a liability. Perhaps there was a way to change that. That's all Jane's life was now: perhaps. Probabilities and outcomes. If she moves this piece will the ending be different? Could something different happen if... EVERY TIME, standing over their corpses expecting a different result other than horrid death. Just how many times will she have to wage this battle? How many times will she have to prepare her troops, her trusty tools, only to start at square one? Another battle has come and gone.

Time to start again.