No really, I'm okay. I'm also a great liar.

annabelle is concerned when i break down at northern downpour

"This bitch," Jenna says offhandedly. I don't think she's talking to me, and I'm proven correct when she shoves her phone into my face. It's opened to a new text from Jacob.

i'm tired

I laugh and take her phone. Well then you shouldn't have signed up for a class at 830

not helping haze

How'd u know it was me

i bet j just gave her phone to u with some snazzy remark about how whiny i am and then collapsed onto ur bed

I look down at Jenna, whose head is now resting in my lap. Jacob's not wrong.

Have fun in class

can we get cookies later

Sure i mean have u ever known j to refuse cookies

invite annabelle too

Mkay see u later

bye xo

I turn Jenna's phone off, toss it across the room onto her bed, then go back to sleep, careful not to disturb my friend.

When I wake up, it's with a dry and unpleasant mouth and a stiff neck from my position.

Jenna's gone, to who knows where.

I slowly push my covers off and make my way into the bathroom. After brushing my teeth and taking a shower, I play with my hair a bit. My roots are starting to come back in on the black side, but I think it looks kinda cool and also I'm too lazy to do anything about it. I end up just pulling it up into two high buns and then washing my face.

I pull on a hoodie and get back in bed. I don't have classes today, so I put on my Panic! playlist and mull over how I should go about making sure my Annabelle is actually Annabelle Lee-Davis.

I could ask her. I could casually mention it and see what happens. I could send in an ask.

I end up just massaging the sore muscles in my neck that the shower didn't help.

I dial four on my phone and soon enough, Annabelle's voice fills my ears. I put her on speaker and throw my phone onto my duvet because I don't feel like holding it up to my ear.

"Hey, sweetheart. What's up?"

"Yeah, I just ... have a question ..." my words peter out as the first chords of Northern Downpour come on. My heart pangs when the singing starts, and I know Annabelle's waiting for words but all she gets is a sob.

"Haze? What's wrong?" There's a long pause, where I try to stem the tears starting to flow from my eyes.

"I'm okay," I breathe, trying to collect myself. Why didn't I take it off the playlist after the last time? I was hanging out with Jenna and Jacob and I just started crying. "I just ... N-Northern Downpour. I'm sorry. What ... what w-was I saying?"

"You had a question. Do you want me to come over?"

"I'm fine. I'm fine. I had a question, I had a question."

Hey moon, please forget to fall down

Hey moon, don't you go down

"It's really hard to focus," I admit through a wet laugh. "Um ... yes. I had a question. This might sound a lil weird but ... I've been following this blog, and I wondered if you've ever heard of it."

I know the world's a broken bone, but melt your headaches, call it home

The front of my sweatshirt is soaked with my tears, but I stay silent and wait for Annabelle's answer.

"Um, okay. What's it called?"

"It's ... it's called No, really. I'm okay. I'm also a great liar." I breathe. This is it. This is when I find out if she actually is Annabelle Lee-Davis. My heart starts thumping loudly, and Northern Downpour doesn't help. I don't want to completely break down now, because this is important, but I'd never turn it off.

"Well," she starts.

Sugarcane in the easy mornin'

Weather-vanes my one and lonely

"I have indeed heard of it. Well, I've never told anyone but my family this ... but ... I kind of ... run it?" It comes out like a question.

"That's cool," I say, nodding, though I know she can't see it. "Well, I've never told anyone except Rose this ... but ... that blog ... means a lot to me. It ... well, it helped me keep hope through a ... bad point in my life. So I guess I should tell you that ... well ... you helped me even before I met you."

I seriously need to take Northern Downpour off this playlist. I don't like randomly bursting into tears.

"Really? That -- that means a lot, Hazel. And I guess you've noticed I started posting in color. Around ... around the day we met. You deserve to know that it was you. My mind is in a better place when I'm around you, and you just ... light up the world for me. Every color is so vibrant and saturated when you smile. I might need to change the name of the blog soon. Because I don't need to lie when someone asks if I'm okay."

Hey moon, please forget to fall down

Hey moon, don't you go down

You are at the top of my lungs

Drawn to the ones who never yawn

"Thank you so, so much Annabelle. My goodness, I love you. I say it so much and it's not enough."

"I love you, Hazel."

We're both silent for a minute or so, but it's not awkward. It's comforting, knowing she's there.

"Shit!" I hear her say. I jump a little.

"What happened, darling?" I ask.

"I dropped my cupcake. Oh!" I hear her say, probably to someone else with her. "Thank you! Oh my goodness, Hazel, this guy just caught my cupcake. Can you believe it? I gotta go now, though, in case I drop it again. Love you!"

"Love you," I say back, and then I hear her hang up.

I drag my sleeves across my face, then get up to wash it for the second time today. Then I change into a dry sweater and continue listening to my playlist.

I don't love you I'm just passing the time

You could love me if I knew how to lie

But who could love me?

I am out of my mind

I then remember what Jacob texted me (well, texted Jenna technically) a million years ago and text Annabelle, asking if she wants to meet up with us later. I don't know if we'll go anywhere or just get them at mine and Jenna's place. We could go take a walk, or maybe Jenna and Jacob would want to see Annabelle's apartment.

One thing's for certain: we'll be eating cookies. And that's enough for me.

a/n: northern downpour is actually one of my favorite songs ever (and that says a lot because basically every song i like i say is my favorite but this one is actually)

also pretty. odd. my friends have all heard this multiple times (because it's true and also i like to say things a lot) (i would say sorry to my friends for having to deal w/me but u signed up for this so it ain't my fault) but every time ryan sings five years are added to my lifespan

so i had to push it into the story somehow because i'm me and i push things i like onto other people

have a hug *hug* also thank you So Much for 400 reads i'm ecstatic and i feel really awesome