Before Incarceration

Alex

     Chipped paint glitter the walls of the dingy hotel we were in. Despite searching my brain for for the past two hours we've been waiting for Kubra, I couldn't wrap my head around why we were in this cheap hotel. The large lump of cash in my wallet signify that we all made plenty of enough money to buy a nicer room. Silvy sat by the window peering out onto the pothole infested asphalt. I have to admit, she had a modest beauty to her. Her short hair offered a toughness to her physical appearance, even thing she was the most wimpy person I've met. Despite her beauty, I found myself critiquing every negative thing about her. Like the way her squinty eyes are almost black. Or how her upper lip was too small for her lower one to even pretend to be compatible. Unlike piper. Her soft pink lips were perfect and her large blue eyes it tingles in all the right places. Too bad she hates me. BANG! BANG! BANG! Silvy and I both looked to her feet to hurry to the door. After checking through the people twice to make sure it was him, I let Kubra in.
     "Jesus, Vause. The longer I stay or here, the more likely we are to get caught!" he said as he checked over his shoulder a couple times to be certain he hadn't been followed. He came in the room and sat in the desk chair and cleared his throat, "Now I bet you're curious as to where Fahri is." Honestly, Fahri did not even come as a passing thought. Even though he and I go back. He was connected with my deadbeat dad before he became my guy.
     "Kind of. Aren't you a little important to he errands, Kubra?" Silvy inquired. I mentally rolled my eyes- she's such a kissass.
     "Exactly. That son of a butch lost contact with me, so I had to make the run myself. He has a day to respond or I'll send some of my- we our men in him," Kubra explained. His pleasure with himself well evident in his tone. Silvy, gasping and rolling her eyes st the perfect tunes during Kubra's explanation, received a disappointing head shake from me.
     "Well, the money is in the suitcases," I said as I inched closer towards the door. Both Silvy and Kubra gave me confused looks.
     "Um... Alex? What's the hurry? I just got here," Kubra's slick voice claimed. Despite the door being inches from me, I felt miles away. "Come on. Spend some time with me. You at least owe your father that. Without him, you wouldn't be in this business."
     "Don't you ever mention him again," I ordered. I could feel the anger inside me grow and tears weld up in my eyes. I looked at Silvy who avoided my gaze then back to Kubra. He looked please with my outburst. Almost as if he wanted more. No. "Fuck this!" I stormed out without a second thought. I walked past the car-Sylvie had the key. I had no idea where I was going, but I knew it was as far from that hotel as possible. My father, Lee Burley, was no father. He cared more about his rock career than mom and me. Mom would often cry over him and question what she did wrong and it sickens me. Despite leave being in the same business as me, Kubra was wrong, he wasn't the reason I am where I am today. None of that my daddy didn't love me and  now I'm ducked up shit. The closest thing I have to a father was Fahri. He knew Lee. He knew what I had gone through. Even though I met him when I was older, he helped create a life for me. An extravagant life at that. I felt a cool breeze on my neck that helped bring me back to reality. Looking around, I had no idea where I was. The hotel was nowhere in sight. I sighed as I realized that my only option was to call Silvy or Kubra. I looked at my phone and saw two messages:
     Listen, baby. I'm sorry! You're still my favorite lesbian ;) -Kubra
     Babe, thanks to your little outburst, he wanted me to suck his sick. You. Owe. Me. -Silvy
     I wanted to barf as I read that second one. Honestly, Silvy had no respect for herself. I'm just glad I didn't have to comply; however, it definitely wouldn't have been my first time.

     I eventually decided that I didn't care about my location as the time. Instead, I found a nice bench to relax in and gaze out onto the city of Berlin. The lights of the businesses and houses resembled the inside of a kaleidoscope from my distant view. I couldn't help but wonder what events were happening within the buildings. Were the families arguing, laughing, sleeping? Were the residents lonely without anyone to talk to? Like me. Technically that wasn't all true, I have Silvy. And I wish I had Piper. Thoughts of reconciliation kept popping into my head. I mean, yeah... Piper was right- I do have a girlfriend. But that wasn't my reasoning to leave. Maybe I could explain that to her. With some hopefulness stored in my brain, the potentially lonely people in their kaleidoscope homes seemed to all have a lover as far as my imagination goes. And right then, I had hope that I could too.