Broken Soul Looking For Love

Drama filled lust

Freshman year came to an end and I was in a lot of drama. I had a boyfriend that of course my dad didn't know about. Keeping up with the relationship and school was difficult enough, but every now and then somebodies daughter tested my patience. Nobody in Neptune high school liked me dating the boy I was dating. I never let it affect me though. Daniel and I were together for a year and a half. I fought a couple females over him, which now that I think of it, it was kind of stupid. During that time, I thought I was in love. Within the year we were together he cheated on me at least five times. He used to lie to me almost everyday , and worst of all he used to hit me whenever I made him mad. I was in such a negative place , but being that I never really knew what it was like to be loved , I thought that's what love was ! My mom " loved me " and barley spoke to me . My step dad " loved me " and sexually abused me . My step brother " loved me " and did the same as his father. My boyfriend " loved me " and mentally and physically abused me ... All my life has been nothing but abuse, so I grew up thinking that was love . Little did I know , that kind of " love" brought so much pain.
Through out the school year, the " high school bullies " seemed to be more interested in my life rather than their own. Just like in the movies , there's always that one person that goes the extra mile and really makes you feel terrible about yourself. If anyone knows me, they know I never liked my body. While others are obsessed with it, Im most definitely not. What's worse is that a lot of people knew that so they used it to their advantage . There was this one kid , I'll never forget him. His name was Kyle.
Kyle was part of the group I told you about before. He never liked me and he still doesn't. Kyle would pick fights and arguments with me every day just because he felt like it. Some how in every argument he made sure to tell me I was fat too. That wasn't the worst part though.
Some how it got out that I was abused as a little girl. Which was the worst because everyone suddenly became so distant . Being that Kyle doesn't even know me, he felt comfortable to make fun of what happened to me. That wasn't until he pushed me over the edge. . .
" that's why he did it. He touched you you're whole life cause he knew no one else would want to."

. . . . . . .

That broke me as soon as I understood what was being said. I remember turning around slowly, crying while heading back to class. Simply trying to wrap my head around it all. Just when I thought I heard enough , Kyle yells down the hallways loud enough to reach my ears .
" bitch no one likes you . Kill yourself ! Just delete your life "

And right then and there I knew what I was going to do when I got home .