Broken Soul Looking For Love

Sophomore Eternity

I've Been home for some time now. Things are much different . Everyone all of a sudden wants to check on me and ask thousands of questions. Why does someone have to ALMOST die for people to care? Where was everyone at when I was " perfectly fine "? I wasn't perfectly fine. Although No one would've known that considering the fact that no one thought to just say " hey Mya, you okay?". It was never a time I wasn't there for whomever came to me with a problem, but when I had a problem? It was nothing but crickets. At this point I was still in a relationship with Daniel and living at home with family , but I felt so alone.
Sophomore year started and everyone just starred at me . All day . Every day. I remember it got so bad the second week of school I walked in and just screamed . " WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT?" . Ever since then no one wanted to look my way. It was either get all the attention or get none at all. I was over the whole thing, truthfully.
    For some odd reason, sophomore year dragged on but I finally hit mid-school year. It felt more like an eternity rather than a year.  Daniel and I would walk through the halls instead of going back to class. I hated school now. I remember when I was younger I loved to be the smartest girl in class. It seemed almost impossible to even focus on school work now.
    I saw Kyle for the first time since I've been back in school, it was awkward. He didn't speak to me, but he sure did whisper and laugh with his friends as he walked past me. I was over that too . Why end my life because someone else doesn't like my existence? I had so much going for myself.  Although life was hard living with an overprotective father of mine , things weren't that bad. The way I looked at it , it could be worse. I tried to calm myself down each and every day , but there was something hurting me deep down inside and it created a monster.
The amount of anger built up inside me at this point of my life, I was fighting everyone. Every other month I found myself in the back of a police car or getting suspended . Things were hard for me. I already felt like I had absolutely no one ever since I was Seven years old. Just to go through things on my own to make it much worse. How could I be in a relationship and feel alone? How could I be someone's daughter and feel like I'm trapped in a cardboard box , by myself? That's what I was thinking about all the time. Was anyone ever going to play their part in my life?

Daniel used to come to my house all the time after school. Obviously he wasn't supposed to be there considering my dad didn't allow me to have a boyfriend at the time. Daniel would come over , and we'd just be in my room. Talking , laughing & obviously doing everything you'd do with your boyfriend if you were alone in a room with him. He came to my house maybe a total of 15 Times, but the very last time he was said to be at my house , he wasn't. My step mother knew I was talking to some kid and she knew what he looked like too. She was cool enough to not tell my dad much but of course she told him things here and there. She came home early from work one day. I was upstairs cleaning the kitchen, so I wasn't bothered or worried. She came in the house yelling . " you had that boy in my house bitch?" I was confused. Daniel hasn't been here in over a month so what the hell is she talking about? She reaches in her purse and pulls out screenshots from his Facebook and throws them at me. It was a picture of Daniel and I in my room back in February. Here we are a month later and she's just now bringing this shit to me? I guess she was that bored and realized I hadn't been in any trouble for a long while. " he was just here wasn't he , dumb bitch! I just saw him walking into Winding Ridge with his friends ! We're they all here? Did you have sex with any of them ? Did they take any of my things ? Why were they here?" She didn't even give me time to answer any of her questions. She jus went upstairs and called my dad.
      My dad called my phone around 10:30 pm. I was already sleep so I was out of it when I picked up the phone . I answered and he simply said , " either I take you to dyfs tomorrow morning or you can live on the streets, but either way you need to get the fuck out of my house you dumb hoe & leave this phone on the kitchen table" I just hung up , put some warmer clothes on and left, leaving my phone on the bed. A 15 year old pretty girl, walking the streets at 10:30 at night . What do y'all think is going to happen to me ?