I am shit [Jyushimatsu]

Chapter 3

JYUSHIMATSU TRACED HIS fingers across the scars on his arms. He'd been shaking a bit. After all, he's the last person expected to do something like this. This thing's more of Ichimatsu's department, but Jyushimatsu didn't think Ichimatsu did this.

The blood kept coming out. He washed it with water to see if it'd stop. Just barely. So he put band aids on each that he'd made. It was mostly down his arms, near his elbows. He wore long sleeves all the time anyways, so no one would suspect a thing. Taking the razor he'd found below the sink, he slipped it into his pocket. The cuts didn't necessarily hurt. It felt like an everyday thing someone would do. Stretch. Crack their fingers. Clip their nails. Brush their hair. Average actions like that.

The fifth brothers legs began to shake slightly as he walked down the hallway. He feared that if he continued to do this, it might become an addiction.

Crawling back to bed and lying in his usual spot, Jyushimatsu stretched a little. 3:38 AM read the clock. Just like he has been for the past two weeks or so, get up later than the others, eat a bit and pray you don't see it in the toilet later that night, kill time, contemplate life, and good night. Well, actually, maybe he could try to wake up earlier than the others this time. But his body was getting used to this new move when you're not dead anymore but later and it'd be a hassle to get up early.

Unexpectedly though, he awoke at almost 8 AM. Jyushimatsu changed into his large sweater and blue shorts and slippers. His one cowlick staying up. He went into the kitchen to eat a pear. He'd wake his brothers up later. Jyushimatsu didn't think it'd be the other way around. He opened his eyes to find Ichimatsu shaking him awake though later that day. It seemed like mid afternoon. What? "Jyushimatsu, what're you doing here?" Ichi asked him. Jyushi was actually still tired. He didn't realize he'd fallen asleep. Dammit.

Jyushi was half under the futon with a pear at his face. Somebody grabbed it though, to which Ichimatsu replied with a hiss until it was put back by Osomatsu. "Ah, er, you're awake, Jyushimatsu," Osomatsu said. "Yup, yup, Osomatsu-niisan!" replied the yellow fellow. "Still hyper as usual, I see."

"Heh. Like a yellow sunflower on a bright sunny day, it appears as if our little Jyushimatsu's energetic energy gy has no limits," Karamatsu said.

"Karamatsu," began Ichi.

"Yes?"

"Stop."

"Ok."

It wasn't long before Jyushi was on the roof, holding his upper body up with his arms. It was midsummer, and it was hot. He was very hot in that sweater. But he couldn't take it off otherwise they'd see. It wasn't just his arms though. It was also places like his hips. Though not his legs, since he always wore shorts. They'd surely see. Once he figured this was a dumb idea, Jyushimatsu stood up to leave. That is until Karamatsu appeared with his guitar. "Oh, hello there, burazah," he greeted. "Hi, hi, Karamatsu-Niisan!" Jyushi said.

"Are you gonna play a song? Can I hear?" Even if it was hot as fuck, he wanted to hear his brother play. "Huh? Sure," Karmatsu answered. He began to strum. An original song, Jyushi assumed. He hummed along to the tune. At least Kara had his sleeves rolled up. Within a few minutes though, he was questioned. "Aren't you hot in that thing?" Kara asked. Jyushi was sweating a little from his forehead. "Then what should I do?" Karamatsu answered," take it off. You don't want to get heatstroke or something."

Jyushimatsu sighed. He was still smiling, but his mouth was closed. In all honesty, it felt a bit uncomfortable to Karamatsu. Jyushi stiffened as he felt a hand on his shoulder. Both he and Kara turned to see Todomatsu there. Todomatsu backed off a bit after noticing how he must have alerted Jyushimatsu. "Jyushimatsu-niisan, Karamatsu-niisan, it's time for dinner," Todo told them.

"Be right down there, burazah," Karamatsu said in reply as he did a finger gun thing. The youngest Matsuno only muttered something about "painful" and held his chest like if he was in pain.

"Let's go, Jyushimatsu," Kara said. "Okkkkk," replied Jyushi, standing weirdly as they exited the roof.

* * *

"Hey, Jyushimatsu, you alright? I know you had a fever last week, but it went down pretty quick," Choromatsu said before taking another bite of his food. "Yeah, I'm feeling much better! I don't want to get sick ever again! Why do you ask?" Jyushimatsu tilted his head slightly.

Choromatsu only shook his head. "Just wanted to make sure," he answered. Jyushimatsu immediately finished his meal, gobbling it down quicker than someone could tie their shoe laces. "Hey, let's go to the bathhouse," Osomatsu suggested. "I'm not going," Jyushimatsu said. "Huh? Why?" Ichimatsu asked.

"I think. . . I'll throw up before we get there," was his answer. He didn't lie, because that dreadful feeling was in his stomach. With wobbling legs, he stood up and made way to the bathroom with his hands against the wall of the hall for support. Karamatsu and Choromatsu were rushing to him and attempted to help him walk. "You should really rest if you're not feeling well, Jyushimatsu-niisan," suggested Todomatsu.

Jyushimatsu would have insisted he was fine but this time, he didn't even argue. He only asked if he could go to the bathroom. Osomatsu patted his back. That left everyone else to go without Jyushimatsu. Ichi had wanted to stay behind, but Jyushi didn't want him to. That left Jyushi alone curled on the side of the futon. It was a struggle to breathe sometimes. It felt like he was choking, or his throat felt raspy and dry. He'd long finished the cup of water left by his brothers at his side, so Jyushi could no longer rely on that to help ease it even if only just a bit.

He wondered how his brothers were doing without him. If they were acting a little different in reaction to Jyushimatsu's behaviour. They were worried?

Once he decided it didn't matter, Jyushi had finally went to sleep.