Paper Trails 2 | Draft

9.

Quadruple mother fucking update, can I get an Amen?

"And she wasn't sad anymore. She was numb, and numb, she knew, was somehow worse."

*****

He found me, and I wasn't surprised. Raven knows where I go when I get angry, and I didn't feel like finding a new hideout. Of course she told him where I'd be.

"What is this?" He asked, gesturing around.

I looked up, my eyes meeting his. There was a heavy weight on my chest, and I knew it wouldn't go away for a long time. I took a drag from my cigarette and exhaled, the smoke curling around my face.

I looked around the big empty space.

"Used to be a museum, but I guess it went out of business or something."

He hummed.

I watched as he walked to the wall across from where I sat and slid to the floor. We stared at each other for a few moments, drinking each other in. There was a lot we wanted to say to each other. Words that, I knew, we never would. I slid the carton of cigarettes to him. He leaned forward, snatching it, and pulled one out. I watched as he lit it, and then leaned back as he inhaled its toxins.

"Raven is worried."

"Raven is a liar," I sighed, resting my head against the wall.

"We all are," he replied.

My lips twitched.

"Why were you at the auction?"

"I needed information."a

"On?"

He ignored my question.

"She told me. About the..." He cleared his throat. "The nightmares."

I nod slowly. "Yes, I assumed she did. I'm sure you know everything there is to know about me."

He shook his head. "Not everything."

"Just about, though." I sigh, my eyes drifting shut. "How long are you here for?"

There was a long pause before he replied. "A few days."

"And then?"

"And then I have business elsewhere."

Right. I snorted. Neila is in the dark, like always.

"You're upset," he noted. "Good. Be upset. Hate me. You should."

"I don't."

My eyes met his again and I shrugged carelessly. I don't hate him. I thought I did. I thought I would look at him and be consumed with hatred, but it wasn't hatred I felt. It was just anger. Just sadness. Betrayed.

"I don't care anymore, Nic." I spoke honestly, keeping my voice level. "I don't have it in me to care anymore. It is what it is."

He looked shocked for a minute before nodding.

We finished our cigarettes in silence. When he was done, he tossed it to the side and stood up, my pack of cigarettes in his hand. Once again we were looking at each other, saying nothing. He walked towards me. I tensed. His hand stuck out. I hesitated, before taking the pack. Before I could ask what he was doing, he leaned down and his lips pressed against my head.