Paper Trails 2 | Draft

12.

I'm like updating everyday and it feels wonderful.

"I have blisters on my feet from dancing alone with your ghost."

*****

When Raven came in, she found me curled up on the couch staring blankly at the television. She walked towards me, determination in her footsteps, and crouched down in front of me until her eyes were level with mine. I blinked.

"Wanna order pizza and watch Forrest Gump again?"

How could I turn down my favorite food and my favorite movie. I nodded. She smiled and pulled her phone from her back pocket. I moved over so she could sit down on the couch next to me. While she ordered the pizzas—one large pineapple and extra cheese, one medium spinach—I went to Netflix and found the movie.

I'd been obsessed with this movie since I first watched it. It was probably the only movie I could watch again and again without ever being tired of it. Forrest is just so sweet.

It took fifteen minutes, but the pizzas finally came. In that time, Raven asked me how I was doing. And we fell back into place.

I was sick of being angry, and decided I didn't need to be alone if I didn't want to be.

I've lost too many people already. Raven brought the boxes to the couch and flipped them open on the coffee table. I pressed play on the movie and launched myself at a pineapple slice. I was obsessed.

We watched the movie and talked some. It was nice. It wasn't weird or awkward. Raven was the first friend I had that wanted to look out for me since Tyler.

By the time the movie ended, there were only three pineapple slices left and two spinach, so we closed the boxes and brought them to the kitchen to save for later.

"So Niccolò off to Los Angeles," she said slowly.

"Yeah? What's in LA for him?" I tried to sound nonchalant.

"His brother."

I looked at her. "His brother's in LA?"

"Yeah," she nodded, reaching for a glass from a cupboard and pouring herself some Pepsi. "So you guys talked?"

"Yeah. I asked him questions, he deflected. The usual."

She chuckled. "I think he'll tell you more soon. He doesn't want to upset you."

"It's a little late. I..." I turned to look at her. "I gave him the chance to tell me how he felt, and he didn't."

"Maybe he's not ready to admit how he feels." She takes a sip.

"To me or to himself? Because he said something that makes me think he knows exactly how he feels."

She sighs and puts down the glass. "Nic doesn't do well with emotions. He keeps people at a distance. Especially the people he cares about, so they don't get hurt."

"What if the reason why they keep getting hurt is because he keeps them at a distance?"

There was a pause and she finally shrugs. "I don't know, Neila. Maybe he just needs time."