Paper Trails 2 | Draft

11.

"I desire the things which will destroy me in the end."

*****

I was slowly becoming a coffee addict and God himself couldn't stop me from having another cup at this point. My leg bounced anxiously as I waited for the coffeemaker to finish doing its thing.

Niccolò was leaving today and he wanted to talk before he did.

Raven and I hadn't talked much in the past few days. In fact, I'd basically been avoiding her at all costs. I was still pissed, obviously, but I also had feelings (unfortunately) and it didn't take long for me to start to miss her. I wanted to talk to her. To understand all of this. But the part of me that felt betrayed was not about to let me go and try to figure it all out.

The petty side of me wanted to freeze her out for as long as I could. Fuck being the bigger person.

I'd have gone this entire time without speaking to Niccolò to if he hadn't called me from a blocked number yesterday and told me he wanted to talk before he jumped back on a plane.

I can also thank Raven for giving him my number.

Bitch.

So I was feeling nervous and anxious, because I had no idea how this was going to go.

I knew this could go really bad and we'd end up fighting. I'd probably curse him out, and he'd probably tell me to go fuck myself in Italian and nothing would be solved.

Did I even want anything to be solved?

Part of me didn't. The same part of me that liked watching Raven guilt-trip herself into oblivion also liked knowing that for once, I wasn't the bad guy. My anger isn't misdirected and there is no misunderstanding.

For once this wasn't all on me, and I relished in that.

I heard a knock on the door just as I was pouring my coffee. Tense and on edge, I jumped, spilling the coffee onto the counter and my wrist.

"Fuck!" I hissed, the hot liquid feeling like a brand to my skin.

"Neila?"

I glanced over my shoulder. Sure, invite yourself in. Why not?

I turned back around and went for the paper towels, quickly cleaning up the mess before it spread. I swiped another clear paper towel at my wrist and sighed before tossing them both in the trash.

My heart was hammering in my chest. I literally only looked at him for a second, but damn he looked fine as shit. I took a deep breath and grabbed my cup of coffee.

"You wanted to talk?" I walked past him and into the living room where I sat down on the couch. I looked up when he didn't respond, and he nodded.

"Yes."

"Great. Talk." I brought the mug to my lips and stared at him over the rim.

He walked over and sat down across from me in the leather chair. "Raven told me—"

"How about me don't start off this conversation with 'Raven told me'? That's kind of the problem here, her telling you shit."