Bereavement

Chapter 2

The Hub is more crowded today than usual. Today is the beginning of Memorial Week, a week where each faction commemorates each of its members who were killed in the war. It takes a lot of organizing and planning, including finding people to speak, preparing speeches, catering, etc.

Today is Monday, Abnegation's day. I still haven't decided if I will go or not.

People flood the building, dressed in mixed faction colors: blue and white, black and gray, orange and white, red and black, and so on. It is strange to see everyone not dressed in one solid color; I suppose I will never be used to it.

I don't think anyone will ever be used to it. I can see it in the way that everyone still dresses in their former factions' clothes, acting rambunctious if they wear black or quiet and reserved if they wear gray. Even though the factions have been disbanded, these habits will never leave us.

I start toward the stairway, unwilling to take the elevator; I'd rather not stand in a crowded metal box with a bunch of other people. Besides, I work on one of the lower floors, so it won't take me long to walk.

For over two years, I have been working as Johanna's assistant. She is one of the major politicians in Chicago, since she stepped up after being leader of the Allegiant. She now works with other government leaders to rebuild the city and keep it peaceful. The job is perfect for her, as she is a former Amity.

I do whatever I can to help her out. My job ranges from setting up meetings with clients or officials to sorting her files. Sometimes I get to use my computer skills too, though not often. At first I considered taking a security job with Zeke, but when you are grieving, it is best to find a job that keeps you busy with no time to think, not bored and staring at a screen all day.

When I reach the fifth floor, I push open the stairway door and walk into the lobby area, where Christina is chatting with Johanna about who knows what. They finish up just as I approach them.

"Good morning, Four," Johanna greets me. I give her a tight-lipped, fake grin. "Today is a busy day. I need you to go through these, please, and bring them back to me by noon, okay?" She hands me a file folder filled with a stack of papers.

"Got it," I say shortly as she walks away.

Christina now stands in front of me, looking up at me expectantly. Honestly, I try to avoid Christina as much as possible. I was grateful for her effort to be my friend when I didn't have anyone else, but she and I are polar opposites. We don't necessarily get along; her Candor tendencies tend to rub me the wrong way.

Her judgmental stare makes me wonder momentarily if Zeke told her about my suicide attempt.

"You look...exhausted. How have you been?" she asks. I was hoping that my slight hangover wasn't obvious, but apparently it is.

I stare down at her and mutter, "Fine."

She narrows her eyes. "Are you sure?"

No. "Positive."

She is clearly unsatisfied, but thankfully drops the subject. I'm surprised. She's usually way more nosy. "So, the Dauntless Memorial Day is on Friday. Zeke told me to invite you. A bunch of us are going," she states.

I don't want to go. I don't want to return to my former faction and be reminded of all the people that I knew, even briefly, that died. I don't want to hear the heroic stories and depressing memories that cause people to break out into tears. I can be sad on my own time.

But instead I just tell her, "I'll think about it," to get her off my back.

"Good." Christina checks her watch and sighs, "I better get going. See you later."