When We Were Young~

Cemetery Drive.

 *MIGHT BE TRIGGER WARNING*

I'm Tired again, I'm so very tired. I'm tired of a lot of things but I think the thing that I'm most tired of is that I always end up back here. I'm drunk again but this time it bears no comfort to the dull pain that constantly aches inside of me because you lied to me. You told me you were fine, and you lied. You lied about many things but the biggest lie you ever told wasn't to me. It was to yourself.

I sink back against the trunk of the dead tree, ignoring the roots that stuck into my back and sighed looking up at the starry sky. My eyes were blurred from either tears or the haze that came from being intoxicated but whatever it was it made the stars blur across the sky in a smear of white and gold. Those were your favorite colors, I think. White and gold. The memories are bitter sweet and as they wash over me I sigh, because the only time I felt truly alive was in the past.

Your were my childhood best friend, my teenage crush and my adult regrets. I remember that I met you in the fourth grade in detention at recesses. I was in detention because I had been reading comics under my desk instead of doing my work and I had been caught. You told me you were in there because you had been drawing in a school textbook and when I asked you what you were drawing you turned bright red and smiled sheepishly. You had drawn, the best a forth grader could, a bunch of vampires, skeletons, ghosts and monsters. Because of our love of all things terrifying and scary we became best friends. As kids we used to play games were you were the paranormal investigator and I was the ghost or demon you were looking for. I was supposed to hide the best I could in till time ran out but even back then I had a soft spot for you. I always let you win.

As Teenagers things became more difficult no longer were we little boys playing in your parents basements instead, we had an almost self destructive tendencies for playing pranks on other high school boys. These pranks usually involved a lot of fake blood and multiple suspensions in till we inevitably got expelled and transferred to a new school. We continued our shenigans often resulting in us having very little friends except each other and a large amount of enemies who would never pass up a chance to beat us up a little in the hallways before class.

I can't pinpoint when it happened exactly but after your parents divorce  we left some part of ourselves behind. The part of us that kept us in check five times out of ten but soon our irresponsible behavior turned self-destructive. We began smoking and drinking on occasion we would have urges to break into houses in the forest behind your house because we thought they were haunted. But somehow amidst all of this I fell in love with you, maybe it was because of the danger involved in that risk but regardless I fell.

I remember the first time we visited the cemetery. We were both seventeen, high and drunk and we stumbled across the cemetery gates. We stumbled inside, leaning on each other for support and camped next to the graves, under the stars. We yelled curses at the dead, daring them to come out and do something about us trespassing and sometime we would even see something move off to the corner of our eyes. Of course the dead never actually woke up, we were really high. I confessed my love to you that night but you being more drunk than I didn't remember it in the morning and I didn't have the courage to do it again sober.

Less than a year later your parents kicked you out of your house for not living up to their expectations. I begged you to move in with me but instead you decided to take a risk, to live dangerously. To this day I'm pretty sure it is the only choice you ever regret making. You Married him, a man you had just met a month ago and like a victims you never saw it coming. Four months after you married him, you came to me with bruises on your face and a split lip. I almost killed your husband that night but I never got the chance because My younger brother stopped me. From that time on I knew what happened to you because despite your attempts to hide bruises he gave you with cover-up, you could never hide the bruises he gave your soul.