Not a Diary ➳ LS

Entry Fifty-Six

Entry Fifty-Six:

I thought maybe I would have died.

Clearly I didn't, Im still here-writing in this.

If I would have passed on, no one would know anything that Im about to tell you.

And while maybe that's for the best, Im going to say it anyway.

So you don't know what happened? No? And you would care too? Hm?

Well.

As I said before, Id just kissed my best mates' forehead and made a total, utter fool of myself. He hadn't been asleep, noticed. He'd seen me, and he was seeing me hyperventilate right in front of him now.

Anyway.

Louis asked me what in the world I was doing. I answered a,"nothing." (I could have lied and said I thought he had a fever, but how would that be a logical explanation for kissing him unless I was his mum? Even then it's kind of awkward.) He said,"did you just kiss me?" Lou was surprisingly calm about this whole ordeal.(I myself was not.) I nodded and closed my eyes, praying I could disappear. He was going to hate me and ignore me and avoid me and disown our friendship and- "Harry,"he'd interrupted my thoughts softly. "Sit down. You're shaking like a leaf." (Shit, I knew that. He didn't have to tell me.) I took a seat anyway mumbling quiet apologies and opening my eyes slowly. When I looked over, Louis himself was sitting up, and leaning closer to me. Oh god, so close.

And with that he said the very words that Id always been hoping to hear (or a very sexy version of them, anyway): "Do you want to do that again, Styles? Properly this time?" Yes, that very phrase.

My heart screamed. My brain screamed. I could have screamed. The fanfics were right! True love is real!

I really couldn't speak. I was shocked. Had he just asked me to kiss him? Properly? Had he always wanted this too? Felt the same way?

My mind was traveling 1000 miles per hour, shorting out at the same time. I had these wildly wide green eyes, bed hair, a horrified expression, a herd of rampaging rabid butterflies clawing at the lining of my stomach, and a horrible taste for need and want burning up my throat. (In other words, I was hugely attractive and not at all freaking out, Cough.)

Somehow, I managed a small,"yes".

I saw a pair of slim pink lips coming towards mine;

And then I blacked out.

-Harry xx