The Choice (Chana Fan-fiction)

Chapter 8

**Chandler point of view**

We sat on the steps in front of the club where multiple teenagers thought they were being angsty by smoking with their friends.

"You know she misses you?" Brooke brought up into the conversation. I looked down and smiled a little, but then immediately hid it by looking the opposite way of Brooke.

"I miss her. But I messed up. Even if she did miss me, she wouldn't want me back after everything," I paused, looking back at her, "And plus, if fans find out the real situation, my career will be ruined along with it."

Brooke stopped, letting her arms drop to her sides, "See? This is the problem. All you care about is your freaking show and the freaking money. And you know what? The acting is shitty, the plot line is shitty, and the setting is shitty. Would you just give it up? I wanted to approach this calmly but what the hell? If you miss her, you have to care about her more than yourself. And if you can't see that, then maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship at all."

She turned her body, slamming her foot into the ground. She was angry, maybe trying to hide her rosy cheeks. I reached, holding her arm.

I gulped, "I'm sorry. You just don't understand. I don't think you ever will. It's not what you think." 

She slapped my hand away. She turned her head, her body still facing the other way.

"It never is what we think. Is it?" She asked with sarcasm in her tone.

"Can you just hear me out? Be the one person to listen in this madness?" I asked, desperately needing someone on my side.

She kept her glare, but eventually sighed. She pointed to steps in front of us. We both walked over to them and took a seat.

"It was for publicity. At first, people thought Zoey would be better for it, but then they decided it would be Brianna. Neither of them knew," I paused, waiting for a reaction. When nothing happened, I continued, "I loved Hana. And I thought I needed the publicity. The Walking Dead isn't just my show. It's the directors, the actors, the producers. Everyone who works on it. And they thought publicity for me would bring in more viewers. And so, I thought I was doing it for them. No one was ever supposed to know that I cheated. Not even Hana--"

She interrupted, "And was Hana a publicity stunt as well?"

I stuttered, "At first. But then I really did love her. I thought it would be over without her knowing. But within a week she did. Because obviously, that stuff gets everywhere, fast. And I was lucky. She gave me another chance. But then it happened again with Bree. It just keeps happening and I'm sick of it."

She looked at the ground, disappointment in her eyes. I looked at her. She was still bright red. Maybe this wasn't anger.

She looked back at me. I caught her gaze. We stared each other in the eyes. I saw tears well in her eyes. I was very confused.

"Do you remember?" She asked me, softly. I shook my head. She scoffed and looked away.

"Hey, I'm sorry," I paused. She sniffles, still not looking at me, "What's wrong?"

She looked back, "How do you think it feels when your best friend gets asked out by the biggest crush you've ever had? It's shitty, Chandler. It really is. And it's so funny how I tried to get noticed by you all throughout freshman and half of sophomore year. And when I do, it's because your hanging out with Hana, or I drop her off at a date. Or whatever it was, it was always Hana. And for some reason--I love Hana, I really do--but I somehow feel that you shouldn't be fully blamed for this. And all that yelling earlier, was hatred from years ago, just now reaching the surface."

My eyes were wide. I never knew it. And how? She was right there, being ignored when I could have easily said something. Anything! Feeling rejected is one of the worst feelings, and I let her down.

But then again, why should I care?

Why would I care about someone I can't relate to?

Someone I've never known.

But do I?

I do.

"If I would have known, Brooke, I wouldn't have--" She cut me off by holding her hand up.

"It's too late now. It's been years. And with everything between you and Hana, whats the point? Nothing's going to happen, so let's just pretend I hate you just as much as she does?" She suggested.

Suddenly, my stomach filled with butterflies. My chest pounded, and there was pressure in my head. I felt stinging sensations in my hands and feet.

She started to lean in towards me. I knew what was happening. This was the first time I wanted it to stop. I couldn't keep hurting people like this. As our lips were about to connect, I pulled away.

"No," I mumbled. She gave me a look.

"What?" She asked, still trying to lean in.

"We can't," I told her, "I'm sorry."

I could see her facial expression fade. She was upset. In trying to stop hurting people, I hurt another girl. Why can't I just stop?

"Of course. You still want her," she backed away, putting space between us. She looked off into the distance, "It could never be me."

Before I could respond, she got up and walked away.

I felt guilty, but I would've felt worse if I would have actually kissed her. I decided I should leave, since I had upset who I came with.

I got up off the stairs, and started to walk to my car.

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Im honestly wtf right now too. What just flew out of my head. Im so tired but my writers block is gone at the moment so I'm writing as much as possible.

And thank you so much for all my readers!! I haven't been on here for a while and I read so many amazing comments! I love how so many people get so into my stories! It's so funny and I LOVE it!

So yeah, thank you, and hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it ❤️