Steven Universe One Shots

Change is Like Water

Lapis Lazuli's POV

     Change is like water, always moving, never stopping.
     Change is like water. It surrounds, chokes, and drowns you.
     Change is like water, imprisoning you, its pressure becoming unbearable.
     Tears begin to roll down my face as I sit on the beach in the presence of the last rays of sunlight of the day, watching the rolling ocean. The terrible feelings of being Malachite just won't go away. She's gone. Malachite is gone forever. But not really. I'm still Lapis Lazuli. I'm still half of Malachite. But my other half is missing.
     I still feel like I'm drowning, but still living. I still feel like there are chains on my wrists, dragging me down to the depths of the ocean.
     I remember the malicious sneer of her evil face. I remember her cries of happiness, horror, and pain. And the most awful part of it all was that her happiness was my happiness, her horror was my horror, and her pain was my pain.
Change is like water. The farther you go in, the more lost you get.
Change is like water. The deeper you sink into it, the more frightening it becomes.
I start to tremble, and I bury my face in my hands. What a miserable creature I am. What a miserable creature we were together. What a miserable creature Malachite was.
Change is like water. It comes in threatening waves, one after another.
Change is like water. A wave of it towers over you, crashing upon you.
I can't think, I can't breath, I can't feel. But I can live without those things. I can live my life stand still until change comes. Change will move me along. If I keep still, it will eventually wear me away to nothing.
Change is like water. If you do decide to stay still, it will wear you down the longer you stand.
Change is like water. It comes in a tsunami, leaving devastation in its wake.
Change is like water. It is cold, dark, and unforgiving.
My back shakes with my silent sobs. I'm so scared. I fear that I will see her again. I fear that I won't see her again. I fear that I will be alone on this planet forever. Actually, I don't even know if I can feel fear anymore. I think that I lost almost all emotion, all feeling at the bottom of that sea, restraining Jasper.
But the guilt won't go away. I can still hear her. I can still hear Jasper's cries for mercy. I can still hear her pleads to see the sun once more. I wanted to see the sun, too. But the ocean was my prison, our prison. I was the warden, she was my prisoner. So I stayed at the bottom of the ocean with that monster, as a monster, for what seemed like an eternity.
Change is like water, there's no escaping it. It sucks you in and pulls you down.
I'm drowning in these agonizing thoughts. For thousands of years, I was held prisoner to that despicable mirror. For what felt just as long, I had a prisoner of my own. In between then I was held prisoner on a ship. Now, I am prisoner to this planet. I have nowhere to go. I don't want to go beck to Homeworld. I have no place there anymore. I'm learning to love this planet through Steven and even some of his friends, but I'm struggling. I'm struggling to trust again. I'm struggling to find what my purpose is now.
Change is like water. For a time you can stay above it, but eventually it will tire and drown you.
Change is like water. There's no stopping it, it comes and goes as it pleases.
My tears have run dry. But not even tears can fix my scarred soul. I don't want to close my eyes; I can see her every time I close my eyes. All I can do is stare ahead and watch the rolling sea.
Quietly, someone joins me. I don't turn my head, though I shift my eyes in order to see who. Who on earth would want to join me? I know I'm a monster. I know I'm not worth anything to anyone anymore.
No eyes meet my stare. My companion simply looks forward, not saying anything. She looks so at peace with the earth. Only a year before had she held me prisoner on her wretched ship. How can she be so tranquil on this planet? How can she be at rest here? She has no companion. She has no one to fuse with. She has nothing to work towards. She just sits in silence, enjoying the view.
I become envious, though my envy soon fades away. I turn my head to fully look at her. She turns to meet my eyes as well. She gives a sheepish smile and offers me her hand. Instead, I embrace her. She freezes up, but then returns the hug.
Change is like water. It takes away the old things and brings new things in.
"Thank you, Peridot." Perhaps change is better than I thought. Change has set me free.
Change is like water.