Stubborn Heart (ON HOLD)

Chapter-6

$ong for the chapter is 'Through the Dark' by One Direction 👆.

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Eyes blood shot, hairs mess, skin rough, as I look myself through the mirror. Yes, again those stupid dreams. I think I should consult a physicists. Dreams are getting worse day by day. I'm now afraid to sleep. Last night dreams was so awful cause when I woke up I saw so many scratches on my arms they look so awful. What everyone will think about them. I scratched my arms so deep that there was a hint of blood on them.

I washed my face, brushed my teeth's and took a shower. I opened my dresser and took out a simple grey shirt that can cover marks on my arms and a pair of denim pants. I dried my hairs and tie them in a messy bun. I went downstairs, popped on the couch and turn on the TV. I was not in the mood for breakfast. I watched some random shows. Actually I was not paying any attention towards the shows at all, I was thinking about my dreams. They are getting worse by every night. As I was in deep thoughts my phone went off. I checked my phone and saw that it was Ryan. I don't want to talk to him right now. He kept on calling me,texting for a while but then stopped. I sigh in relief.

If I would've answered his call then he might get the hint from my voice that I cried. I want to fight this all, all alone. I don't need him or anyone right at the moment. Actually I do. When I'll feel the need to talk to him I'll do but not now. I want him.

He can pretend that he's all cool, can show the world that he's a tough guy but I know much his heart is broken, how much he's broken cause I know what it is feels like to lost parents. I just don't want to bother him. It's my fight and I'll fight alone no matter what. He makes me happy and in return I don't want to give him any sorrow by telling him what's happening.

I decided to go for a stroll. I got up and grab my phone from the coffee table and looked myself through the mirror, I looked like a mess but I didn't bother. I locked my door behind and walked. I looked here and there watching people laughing with there family, kids playing around. I've some of the memories of my childhood. It was the end of my childhood when my parents died.

I saw a man, he was giving ride to his little daughter on his shoulder. It reminds of my dad when he used to that with me. I kept on walking and walking. After about an hour I decided to go back home. When I reached home, I saw a guy was standing on my porch. As soon I was in front of my porch that guy was non other then Ryan. I hesitant and played with the edges of my hairs and sigh.

"Hi" all I can say. His head shoot towards me and he ran towards me and embraced me. I was so confused.

"Hi? Just a simple stupid hi?.I was so worried about you. I also called you like a thousand times but you picked up single pointless call and when you didn't picked up my call's I got very scared and all those bad thing started to come in my mind. At least pick up your phone next time. Will you?" he questioned.

I don't know what to say, and I can't just tell him like ' hey Ryan I just had a bad dream last night and scratched myself in my sleep. And when you called I wasn't in the mood to talk to you cause I don't want to bother you'. I took a deep breath.

"Oh common Ryan. I'm completely fine. There is nothing to worry about I can take care of myself. And when you called I was just sleeping and my phone was on mute. That's why didn't picked. You know I would've picked up your call's if I knew it was you who was calling. " I just lied on his face again, it makes me feel so bad.

"Yup. I know you would've picked up my call if you knew it was me. " he just trusted me.

"You wanna come in? " I said and opened my front door.