just a fan ; grayson dolan

The End

i don't know how long it's been. all of my senses have been gone, time was not something i could figure out. i hear the doctors talking, hell i hear everyone talking. so i'm obviously still in a coma. grayson doesn't come around as often. ever since that day that he told me it was okay to let go. even if i wanted to let go i can't quite figure out how

i heard rustling and someone walking in and i knew it was my favorite nurse anne, she comes in my room twice a day to put needles into my arm and what not. she's the only person who talks to me, probably because who would want to talk to a girl that's in a coma??

"good morning alexa, i'm just going to put a uv needle in your arm and watch your screen for a few minutes" she says

i try to move and talk but i fail

"your heart rate is very high which isn't too good. here's the secret baby : if you live, if you die. it's all up to you. so whatever fight you got in you. you have to pull it out now" she whispers

(fav quote^)

what she said kept replaying in mind. it's all up to me but i'm trying. i'm trying so hard

she finishes up and says she will be back later

i wonder what grayson is doing right now, i wonder how my fans are doing right now, has anyone forgotten about me? why doesn't grayson come everyday like he used too? is he not in love with me anymore?

the questions flooded my mind and all i could do was think because what else was there to do

the next day

anne came in early today and talked to me for a while. my heart rate is still high but what could i do about it?

she was moving around and then the door opened and it got quiet

"are you here to visit?" she asked whoever was at the door. i wonder if it was my mom

"uh yeah, sorry for intruding"

once i heard the words spill into the air, i new that it was grayson. but what was he doing here? he hasn't visited in months, i assumed he gave up. i don't blame him

"no problem i'll get out of here" anne said and i heard the door close

i heard him approach the bed and pull a chair over and sit. his hand grabbed mine and for a minute i thought i flinched but i new i hadn't and i new he thought i couldn't hear or feel him

"hey alexa. it's been a while and i'm truly sorry for that. things have been crazy lately. i guess i'll update you. your fans are still rooting for you, no one has given up. ethan and i actually got asked to do something huge, we uh got asked to do a world tour. and we're going. its going to be amazing and i wish, i wish you could come. we're starting in the us and moving towards europe and all that. so it's gonna take a few months for me to come back" he paused and i had a feeling he began to cry

i wish i could tell him how proud i am of him and how much i want him to go and make amazing memories. his fans have waited so long for this and it would be a shame for him not to go. i don't want him to think he has to stay back for me me. he deserves the world.

"but i don't want to leave you. i need you to give me a sign or something to go" he stopped again

"it wasn't supposed to be like this" he cried

"i hope that you want me to go, because i really want to go. i think i should listen to my gut. don't worry if i hear that you wake up i'll be on the next flight back to you" he kept crying

"i will never leave you. i love you"

my chest started to hurt and i felt like i needed to break out into tears but i couldn't

"we leave tomorrow" he cried

"it should have been me" he punched the bed making sure not to hit me

the door opened and i heard a random voice

"visiting hours are over, please see yourself out when your done" the lady said

i heard grayson muffle a 'okay'

"goodbye princess. i love you so much" he said before kissing my forehead and standing up

no. please don't leave. not yet.

he got to the door and i heard him stop before pulling it open

"it was a privilege to fall in love with you. forever and always" he whispered

i could feel him just standing there and staring at my still body

they say that right before you die your life flashes before your eyes

and in that moment my whole life flashed before my eyes. growing up, becoming a youtuber, meeting grayson and ethan, moving to la, having my heart broken and then put back together and then finally the coma

but i wasn't dying, i was living

and then

my eyes opened

_______________________________

authors note ;  hmmmmm sequel? :)  i don't even know where to begin. this book is the reason i've blown up. when i started this book i had 100 followers and 500 reads. now i have 30,000+ followers and 2 MILLION+ reads. how is that even possible. these characters like alexa are the reason for my success and they have grown on me. it was hard to finish this story and say goodbye to alexa and grayson. but this is it. thank you all for the support and you all mean the world to me. i hope you continue to read my story's. i love you all.

<3