The Angel's Paradise. ( Saeran x MC )

《 s i x 》

The late night conversations continued.

At first, it was odd but I got used to it. The first day, I saw him once in the morning, and had looked up to him nearly happily. He had then walked passed but with an irked glare on his face.

'Maybe he's not a morning person,' I told myself with a questioning tune. I had been hurt for him walking past, until I had remembered the words he told me last night, though they still made no sense.

Every day, the same thing had happened. In fact, Saeran now was my only way to tell whether it was day or night. If he walked past angrily without a glance, it was just a bit after sunrise. When he sat down in front the cell and began to sensitively talk to me, it was deep at night.

I couldn't tell if he had been sleepwalking, doing it without knowing, or simply didn't want anyone to know he talked to me, but with each day that had progressed, he looked a little more dead inside. You could tell by the expression he wore, how his eyes didn't match his face, and how his body language seemed more and more like he didn't care.

I presumed it had been maybe a week since I came here because Saeran - Saeran Choi, as he ended up telling me later - had came and talked to me 5 times so far. Last night, was the weirdest time, as well as the shortest.

"Here," He had said, sliding a piece of bread through a slit of the cell gate, "I doubt they're feeding you properly.."  His gaze was stuck on my hand with the piece of bread in it, and I had assumed he was waiting for me to eat it, but then I noticed how his gaze become painful.

"The Saviour..No, Rika, would give my brother bread to bring home for us," I listened intently, knowing with everything he's talked about, he never talked about his childhood. "She...She was so different then, I felt like she was the one who truly opened up my eyes, but I don't know if that's true anymore."

"My mother was a horrible person," His gaze was now anywhere but my face, and I had understood why. He's probably never talked about it before, and it'd be hard for him to make eye contact while talking. "I just, I never understood why she couldn't love us. Love me. Why she was such a monster."

"And then there's my brother, I don't know if anything I've been told about him is true..I want to ask you about him, but that'd be unfair wouldn't it? I.." His voice began to crack up, and I thought maybe he was crying. I never found out because he stood up and turned away from me.

"I, I'm going to try to breakthrough tommorrow," He said softly, "To try and be the real me. Goodbye."

I had been so confused, but he told me he couldn't explain it in a way that would make sense. Then he left.

Now I had assumed it was day, judging how long its been since that conversation. I looked over in the corner to see half of the bread he gave me still left, and noticed the growing pain in my stomach.

'Saeran was right,' I thought to myself, 'I really haven't been eating properly.' Thoughts of the RFA came to mind, remembering how they cared for me to eat properly. Though, oddly enough, I didn't feel a pain of sadness in my heart for missing them. I don't quite know what I felt, but it seemed thinking of them left me void of emotion.

The pain in my stomach grew larger once again, and I moved over to the bread, deciding to eat the rest. My mind kept drifting over to Saeran as I nibbled, my stare blank as my mind went out of focus.

A sudden bang the cell door and I was brought back to reality. I don't know how long it had been, but the bread was gone and I was laying on the floor. I looked up in dread, thinking to find the usual man who brought me 'medicine', but instead found Saeran.

A small smile was nearly brought to my face until I noticed that the expression Saeran wore was not the one he wore when he visited me in the late nights.

It was the expression he wore in the morning when he passed by, the dead look in his eyes even though he kept on a harsh glare. I realized maybe this is what he meant by talking about the real him.

"Medicine time," Was all he said, a harsh tone to his voice, as he swung open the cell door and flashed a syringe at me, my eyes widening in fear.

"S-syringe?" I squeaked, squirming away from him, my voice near trembling, "Why not pills?!"

"Syringes work faster than pills," As he said that with a smirk, moving towards me and gripping my arm as I struggled, that was the point I knew this was not the Saeran to come visit me at night. Not even close to him.

I tried thrashing around and screaming, yelling repeatedly for him to get off of me, that what he was doing was hurting me. He didn't stop. The real him didn't realize what he was doing, and the him currently didn't care. The crazy smile on his face probably enjoyed it, loved it even.

The more I screamed, the more he smiled. It broke my heart down. I knew it wasn't him, but it still hurt. I was such an idiot to think that maybe we had built something up. Or maybe that  whatever he was going through, he could break through it for me.

I was an even bigger idiot for loving the him he showed me. I felt sad to admit, but as I sat here with tears streaming down my face and him trying to force my arm down, I knew the actual reason I was so hurt about him doing this was I had fell in love with him coming to see me every night. Finding out more about him little by little. The bread he gave me, the stories he told me.

I really did love that side of him. I could only think maybe that side of him was the real him, and something was going on that he just couldn't tell me. Then again, maybe he got so used to the him he plays now, that he did forget who he was.

But I could only guess and there was no point in playing a game I would only lose.

As I remembered Saeran was the one who led me to the apartment, proceeded to kidnapped me, then brought me here and caused me all this misery and pain, that I was just a bad case of Stockholm Syndrome who tried to only see the softer side, I stopped resisting as much.

Saeran was finally able to inject the strange liquid in my arm, and near instantly, an overwhelming feeling washed over me.

It was a sense of euphoria, my whole body tingling with a strange sensation that never happened before. I became dizzy and the slightest movement I made, I could feel three times over, as if there were multiple versions of myself, each one moving a second later than the previous.

Time was going by incredibly slow and my dizziness increased. I looked up at Saeran who was just staring down at me with no expression, the dead look in his eyes more prominent than before.

Most likely due from the odd haze in my mind, I fell back onto the wall, my hand slipping from the ground and my head making contact with the concrete.

The image of Saeran still fresh in my head, I began to blank out. Right before losing consciousness, I realized another thing.

This feeling was paradise. A way to numb everything out I had been thinking. This euphoria high, I had actually liked it. Perhaps why Saeran had looked so dead on the outside, was because he was on the inside too.

"You could never understand me," Were the last words I heard as I finally slipped away. I couldn't tell who said them, but with the sad tune those words carried, I felt a pang of hurt in my own heart.

. . .

The late night conversations stopped.

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A / N : Okay so honestly this chapter may be complete shit, and it's all over the place, but yesterday the book reached 707 reads, (and now somehow it's at 800??? ? !) so I decided to make it extra long.
(It's literally 1500 words so like,,, thats an extra 500 words.)
Also, because I know she's reading this, shout out to Electric for bring my number one reader always, she's literally the only reason I write this book.
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