Couples, Part 3

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Ok, so I wasn't planning on making a part three, but a couple of people suggested it so....

                                               JARIDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Yay! *le clap clap clap clap clap* *Fireworks* 

Not really.

   Okay.  So I don't really have much against Jarida (Or Jerida, whatever.)  Cuz like, they're both single-ish, and, well, that's all I find OK in the ship.

Disclaimer: I do not mean to insult any Jerida shippers, and if you are a hardcore jarida shipper and get offended easily, I recommend you skip this, so don't be like "OMG, this rant is terrible. You are a horrible person and you offended a lot of Jarida shippers" I WARNED YOU!!!!

Let us begin.

                                         WHY JACK ISN'T ELIGIBLE FOR JARIDA

Reason #1:

 Ummm, This kinda goes for all Ships including Jack, but I'll say it here anyways:

JACK IS 317 AND MERIDA IS LIKE 16!!!!!!!!!!! AGE DIFFERENCE ANYONE?!?!?!

Honestly, it's kind of creepy, that they're 101 years apart, and just *shivers* it reminds me of Bella and Edward. I don't know why.

Reason numero dos: 

 I don't know how to say this properly, but here goes:

A lot of people and I see Merida as well, ...fire

Jack, is obviously, Snow/Ice

WHEN YOU PUT THEM TOGETHER YOU DON'T GET LOVE, YOU GET GLOBAL EXPLOSION!!!!!!!!

Boom!

Crash!

AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

"I-It's Okay, Mary. J-Just remember I always loved you."

"JOE, DON'T LEAVE ME!!!!!!!!!"

"I-I have....to."

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!"

See?

Reason #3

Jack is fun, sly, mischevious, and yearns to get noticed.

Actually, lemme skip through all that and get to the point.

HE JUST GOT SOME FRIENDS AFTER BEING ALONE FOR 300 YEARS, HE MUST BE OVERWHELMED!!!!!!!!! DON'T RUSH HIM!!!!!!

                                             Why Merida isn't eligible for Jarida

Yay! Merida time!

Reason #1: Let's play that game again

Q: Merida just got back from turning her mother into a bear, turning her back, almost seeing her father kill her mom, and she is now totally not feeling rushed and forgot about the suitor scenario, and is ready for a relationship. Am I right?

-_-   Come on people.

A: NO!!!! AND THAT WAS SOME HEAVY DUTY SARCASM RIGHT THERE!!!!!

Q: Merida falls in love easily.

Ha!

A: Mhhmm, Psh, yeah right. You wish.

Q:  Merida lives in Medieval Scotland, and Jack lives in Present-Day Burgess, Pennsylvania (I think, correct me if I'm wrong. NICELY.) So how do they meet and fall in love?

A: I have no idea.... Oh, wait. THEY DON'T.

So that's my opinion of Jarida for you! Sozzy it was short, but I wasn't expecting to do a Part Three of couples. Anyways, Vote, comment, follow, check  out my other workd, and tell  me what to rant about!

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