February 27, 2010

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      I woke up, sweat slowly making it's way down my face. I looked around. My sisters and brother had told me what might happen today; of course, I didn't believe them. I quickly launched myself off the futon and made my way to the living room, where my Dad had begun to sleep. As I walked in, he gave me a sad smile. That look is permanently plastered into my mind.

We stood there in silence. I could practically feel the anticipation as it ate away at my insides. I knew this day would come.

"Happy Birthday Abi" he said, a tears forming in the corners of his eyes. He shifted slightly. I noticed my presents that had been set in the corner, those ones were probably from him. He must of felt some guilt, so that year he spent over 200 dollars on my birthday.

"Why do you have a suitcase Dad?" I asked as I worried that what I had been told is true.

He just looked at his feet and said nothing, I began to cry. How could he do this, why would he do this? Who is rude enough to leave on their own daughter's birthday! 

I quickly made my way to my room and fell asleep while crying. I heard something whispered in my ear as I drifted to sleep. These words would never be forgotten.

"Te amo mi preciosa hija"

That simple phrase has become a broken record stuck on reply in the back of my mind for the last 7 years. "I love you my beautiful daughter." Of course, that wasn't true, no one has the capability of loving me.

I was only turning eight years old that day, I didn't know what I did to deserve that. I didn't understand then, but this day would be the beginning of an extremely fucked up childhood.

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