Phan Oneshots

I Loved Him...

I'm just gonna put pictures of them at the beginning of all the chapters, enjoy!
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Summary: Death. Pain. Ugh.
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*Phil's POV

Hearing them say the words through the phone, I felt more and more dread come over me with every word. "The car was speeding....Dan was hit....I'm sorry for your loss."

I dropped the phone and collapsed onto the floor, tears pouring out of my eyes like a waterfall.

My heart wrenched as I felt the words truly sink in and I curled up. I screamed his name, heartbreakingly and filled with despair. I lost my voice after screaming for so long.

I tried calming myself down but nothing could help when my boyfriend, my best friend, my other half, is dead.

I attempted getting a glass of water to help my burning throat, but I couldn't see through all the tears and dropped it onto the floor, the shattered glass representing my heart. Broken and split up in so many pieces you can't tell what it originally even was.

I carefully stepped around the glass and made it back to my room, where I lay for the entirety of the day. I get a message later stating the date of the funeral, which is two days from now.

I sigh and pass out from exhaustion, tears flowing down my face as I realize this is the first time in years I'll be sleeping alone in my bed.

***
I wake up suddenly in a sweat, and as I remember the nightmare I just had, I burst into tears.

Me and Dan were walking down a street, making inside jokes only he and I would understand and laughing. As we went to cross a street, I couldn't see the car heading towards me at a high speed. Dan noticed and at the last second, shoved me out of the way and got hit. I heard all his bones snap and watched as his body flung onto the ground. I saw the color drain out of his skin and the brightness flow out of his eyes. As I sat there helpless, unable to believe what just happened, tears flowed down my face uncontrollably.

I flashed back to now and sniffled as I somehow calmed down.

I walked down the hallway and into the lounge. As I entered the room, I saw the sofa crease Dan had made and slowly crept over to it and softly dragged my hand across the fabric where he once sat when he was alive.

Then I remember. The phandom. All the people who loved us and shipped us. They don't know what happened. They must be confused as to why neither of us tweeted anything or were active on anything yesterday.

I then remember the video we promised to upload yesterday. Our coming out video. I was editing it while Dan went out for the food, like we almost always did where one of us would go out to get necessities and the other would stay home. I was almost finished when I got the call, expecting it to be Dan saying he was running a bit late because of traffic (when really he would be stopping at another place to get malteasers) but then my heart was broken and forgot all about the video.

The fans must be confused as to why we would say we were going to upload a video later and then didn't with no explanation.

I have to tell them.

I set the camera up, and turn it onto my bed, which seemed inappropriately happy and colorful. I turn it on and begin speaking.

"Hey guys...." I say sadly. "So you're probably wondering why me and Dan haven't posted anything recently..." I trail off, trying to hold back the tears threatening to pour out of my eyes.

"Sorry, it's really hard to say this, but....Dan was hit by a car." I pause, a few tears slipping out. "I'm sorry to say I'm not gonna be uploading for a while, but please understand." More tears flow out of my eyes. "I loved him and he loved me equally as much. The video we planned on uploading yesterday was our coming out video, but obviously that didn't get uploaded in all the chaos, so I'll just put it at the end of this video." As the tears start pouring out, I say a quick goodbye before falling back onto my bed in tears.

Dan's dead. He's really dead. My best friend who I loved more than anyone, is dead.

I decide I need to upload the video so the fans know so I quickly walk over to the computer and post it, with the coming out video edited into it, titled 'Why Dan and I haven't been posting...'

It blows up very quickly and in about 5 minutes, I had thousands of sympathy messages from the people who watch us.

I drag myself over to my bed and flop onto it, falling asleep in a matter of minutes by exhaustion.
***
I wake up to realize today's the funeral. It's early in the day though so I spend a little while replying to some messages from people.

I then see messages from my family saying sorry but what do they have to be sorry for? It's not like it's their fault Dan got hit by a car. I hope the person who hit him suffers in jail.

I reply to them saying thanks and get up to go get ready for the funeral. I put on a black suit that I wore when Dan and I went on our first date. The memories burn through my mind and cause me tons of pain as I feel the heartbreak rushing through my veins.

I decide it's time to leave and wipe off the tears as I get into the taxi. As I get in he asks where I'm going with a smile that soon fades once he hears me say the name of the funeral home.

I arrive quickly to see not many people are there yet. I see the coffin sitting across the room and cringe slightly at the sight, knowing that Dan's body is in there.

I walk into another room to get some water and come back out to see PJ and Chris walking in. They see me come back into the room and knowing how close I was to Dan, immediately run over and envelop me in a hug. I let the tears fall down, staining their shoulders. After a few minutes I collect myself and I'm released from their tight embrace.

I step back to attempt to smile but they see right through it and PJ says "You don't have to act tough like you're not affected by it, your boyfriend is dead. Sorry for being blunt, but you need to stop holding back the tears, it's unhealthy."

I smile slightly now, realizing how wonderful my friends are. We all look moderately fine but the many people giving me pity is slowly getting annoying and PJ and Chris can tell. They drag me off into another room, away from all the other people so I can finally get some peace. I thank them and sit down taking deep breaths.

They'll be opening the coffin soon, allowing me to see this truly isn't just a bad nightmare. It's real, and it hurts more than anything else I've ever gone through.

More tears fall and PJ and Chris decide to leave me alone, and I thank them mentally. Once I contain my tears, I walk out to see the coffin has been opened and everyone has lined up to see it. I join the line and watch as most people begin to leave. There's only a few people still around by the time I get up to the coffin.

I inhale strongly before looking inside to see Dan, lying there. It almost convinces my mind that he's just sleeping but then I notice the dead, greenish blue tone of his skin. I collapse into tears, falling onto my knees in front of the coffin and stay there until everyone has left before finally walking towards the door, glancing back to see him for the last time, before rushing out the door, slamming it behind me.