Yungin'

♕31♕

Yungin'

I had smoked my last blunt of the day and looked at the clock as it read eight o'clock at night and sighed.It's been A few days since the death of Caroline and I been to myself.

I was currently sitting in the dark listening to Meek Mill Blue Notes as it played from my beats pill. I didn't care about nothing at this moment, but my weed and henny. I just wanted to be alone.

It's been two days since the death of Caroline and her funeral was tomorrow. I didn't even want to show up cause of how I was feeling at the moment. Part of me felt like I had no right to show up because of how I treated her after my Pops death. She wasn't my mother, but she was the one who raised me. I owe her that much to show up, but I just couldn't. I was feeling guilty because of how I treated her and now that she's gone I can't do shit about it. I felt bad for my stubborn ways getting in the way, but if you felt the way I felt for so long you'll feel the same. I wanted Caroline to feel how I feel.

I was confused, angry, sad and depressed. Only way I knew how to deal with my emotions was drinking and smoking.

I stood up and put my blunt out when I heard a car pull up. I went over to the window and looked out it as Naomi got out the car on the phone. She been staying with me since everything been going on, even before this. You might as well say we live together. I felt bad for how I been treating my baby. I been giving her the cold shoulder ever since we argued that night, well when I yelled at her. I knew she didn't mean what said, I just wanted a reason to yell at her to get her off my back. Naomi has a problem with worrying to much, and I know she only do it because she loves me, but I'm fine.

"Yah Lo..I just made it in, I'll call you later..yah love you to" I heard her say.

Few minutes later she walked into our room and turned the light on. She froze and looked at me.

"C'mere so we can talk" I said. She stood there for a few minutes and walked towards me. She sat next to me on the bed and sighed.

"I'm sorry for the way I've been treating you and for being like this" I sighed."Baby I just needed my space and I wasn't trying to push you away"
"And I'm sorry for what I said to you.I didn't mean it. Baby I just worry about you and I hate seeing you like this, all closed off and drinking and smoking" She says while looking at me.

"I'm okay"

"Lucas your not ok"

"Yes the fuck I am! I don't need you babying me and worrying about me.Or anyone else for that matter.You my lady and all, But I can handle shit on my own. You just gotta trust I got this"

"Ok baby, I trust you" she said and stood up."Are you going you going to the funeral tomorrow"

"No" I shook my head.

"Lucas-" I looked at her and she held her hands up and shook her head.She walked over to the dresser and pulled out clothes to sleep in. I got up and wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her neck.

"I don't mean to be the way I am. I can't help I worry about you so much.I just love your stubborn ass"She turned around and kissed my lips.

"I know baby. I love you to, but you just gotta trust I'm going to overcome this myself."

"You should talk to someone instead of bottling everything in" I let go of her and backed up.