He keeps me warm

my night

 tonight was my night. a night away from everything. a night away from my brothers, my shitty life, even Milo...i slipped into a small, black dress that reached my thighs. i made my way down the stairs and out of the house.

 my high heels kicked the dust covered ground as i walked. my mom's car keys in one hand, a bottle of booze in the other i hopped in my mom's car. i started up the car. i don't even have a drivers license but tonight is my night, remember?

 it took me about thirty minutes to get into town and  pull up to the club. i hopped out of the car and walked towards the front entrance.

 "excuse me miss, are you eighteen?" asked a muscular man at the front door.

 "of course" i replied, cheekily.

 i strutted through the door before he could say anything else. as i entered the club, loud music rattled my ear drums. i walked to the center of the dance floor and started dancing. was this wrong? no, because tonight is my night. everything felt like it was in slow motion when my favorite song started playing. 

it used to come on the radio when i was eleven and me and my friends would dance to it, like the good old days but now i have no friends. nobody to dance with. . i hummed along to the song i knew oh, so well.

 Every single night

I endure the flight
Of little wings of white-flamed
Butterflies in my brain
These ideas of mine
Percolate the mind
Trickle down the spine
Swarm the belly, swelling to a blaze
That's when the pain comes in
Like a second skeleton
Trying to fit beneath the skin
I can't fit the feelings in
Every single night's alight with my brain

What'd I say to her
Why'd I say it to her
What does she think of me
That I'm not what I ought to be
That I'm what I try not to be

  It's got to be somebody else's fault

I can't get caught
If what I am is what I am, cause I does what I does
Then brother, get back, cause my breast's gonna bust open
The rib is the shell and the heart is the yolk and
I just made a meal for us both to choke on
Every single night's a fight with my brain

I just want to feel everything

So I'm gonna try to be still now
Gonna renounce the mill a little while and
If we had a double-king-sized bed
We could move in it and I'd soon forget
That what I am is what I am cause I does what I does
And maybe I'd relax, let my breast just bust open

  My heart's made of parts of all that surround me

And that's why the devil just can't get around me
Every single night's alright, every single night's a fight
And every single fight's alright with my brain

I just want to feel everything
I just want to feel everything
I just want to feel everything
I just want to feel everything

"hey, you wanna come get high?" asked a scrawny boy, covered in tattoos.

 "sure" i replied.

 the truth was, i've never done drugs but it wouldn't hurt to try. right? he took me to a back room. there was a girl who looked about thirty with massive hoop earrings, white blonde hair and over-done blue eyeshadow.

 "how much is it?" i asked.

 "it's on the house" the women rasped "it's your first time, right?"

 i nodded slowly as she handed me a paper bag of white powder, and a straw. i lied it on the table.

 "do i snort it?" i asked.

 she didn't respond, which i'm guessing is a yes. i held the straw to my nose and inhaled. i did that for a good two minutes before i felt drowsy. everything seemed to be in 3-d. i stumbled back to the dance floor, the world whirling around me.

  i saw a farmiliar tall figure in the former. the man from the church. he had the same greasy black hair, suit, sunken in eyes. everything. he took me by the hand and led me outside of the club. i felt like i was being hypnotized. like i was in a trance.

he picked me up and i felt my eyelids get heavy as the world whirled around me. i lied there, in his arms until we reached my mom's car in the parking lot. my body went numb and i couldn't move.

  maybe this was a bad idea. i felt my eyelids close, like someone had set lead on top of them. suddenly, i was engulfed into darkness and drifted off to sleep.