Half A Heart // ziam

chapter eight

[ school is my excuse for the late update ]

*Zayn's POV*

I turned away, taking my eyes off Liam before I could possibly do something else crazier than what I did the day before. What I did was stupid but it wasn't something I regretted- if anything it made me realize just how much I was just dying to get that close to Liam again. 

But then there was Perrie. 

My fiancee. 

And I knew Liam and I are just about done- there could be nothing between us and I was the one preventing that. I couldn't lie, I was doubting my decision about marrying Perrie. Was it really what I wanted?

Wasn't Liam what I wanted? Needed even?

 "Zayn?" It was Harry with his worried eyes and curious frown. He was leaning against the wall beside me (which I really hadn't notice before) and I couldn't help but smile lightly. Right now, Harry was perhaps the only one that would even understand me. 

 "Hey Haz" 

"Are you okay?" Harry asked, swinging his arm over my shoulders. 

"Is Liam?" 

"No. I am not going to lie. You being here has him on the edge but that doesn't mean he doesn't want you here. He wants you here probably more than any of us" Harry explained. My hear skipped a little at that. It felt nice, knowing that Liam still wanted me around him. 

"I miss him" 

"I know" Harry grinned, shooting me quick wink which I would have certainly missed if I wasn't looking at him. "Now if you are quite done thinking I think we should go and join the rest of the boys"

"Good idea" 

Harry shook his head, a fond smile on his face before we both walked out of my room and down stairs where the rest of the boys were. Fortunately, Perrie was at home today. She was out with a couple of her friends. I have no idea how I am going to even face her. 

When we got down to the the living an unfamilar face is sitting next to Liam- maybe, a little too close but I shouldn't be focused on that. Liam wasn't exactly mine to worry about anymore. 

"Marcus! Not you again!" Harry groaned as he walked past the unfamilar face- ruffling Marcus' hair up and sat down next to Niall, wrapping his arms around the blonde boy. Harry shot Marcus a playful glare which just snapped Liam out of his conversation with Louis. 

"Good to see you too Harold" Marcus commented earning a light chuckle from Liam which just brough a smile on to mine face. It seemed as if everyone but me was able to get that angelic sound past Liam's lips. 

"I feel so left out" Louis mumbled before he looked up at me, "Finally! Zayn, someone I know" He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him, pushing me down to sit next to him. 

As I sat down I could feel Liam's eyes on me but I couldn't make myself to look his way- I knew I wouldn't be able to look away. If I learned to keep myself away from Liam then maybe I would learn how to stop hurting him. 

"So you are Zayn?" I heard a voice say and I snapped up to find Marcus peering over Liam's shoulder to look at him. I definitely didn't miss the sharp glare Liam shot Marcus but I just chose to ignore that and instead offered Marcus a nod. 

It made me nervous- scared even. I felt as if I 

"I am the Zayn"

"Liam's told me load-"

"Marcus, lets go get some drinks shall we?" Liam gritted through his teeth. Liam grabbed his hand pulled him up and Marcus instantly closed his mouth passing me an awkward smile. 

Right. 

This was just beyond awkward. 

And I couldn't decide which one of us was making this so awkward. 

"Course. Li and I will just go grab the drinks" Marcus said but his words went right through my mind. I liked Marcus but I knew I wouldn't like how close he was too Liam- way too close for my comfort. I watched as Marcus curled his hand around Liam's so that their fingers were laced together. 

"I will come" I said, getting up. 

Liam tilted his head towards me again but I ignored him. I just didn't want him to be alone with Marcus. Call me jealous or whatever but I just didn't care.

 It made me nervous- scared even. I felt as if I left them alone even for second I would lose Liam completely. Maybe, it was the way Marcus looked at Liam; the same way I probably looked at him. I didn't want to lose Liam not to Marcus or to anyone. 

I was just forgetting the fact that I had already lost Liam. 

[ So...yeah. don't ask about the long wait. just don't. but I wouldn't bite if you do ask. so feel free to ask...I don't even know. Hope that was okay. I tried. And no Marcus is not some evil guy, he is going to only bring Ziam closer. So yeah, don't hate the guy. ]

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x

ily.