[ hello :) how are you guys? ]
*Liam's POV*
You know when you have like hundreds of thoughts running around your head but you can't concentrate on any of them because every one of them felt so messed up and confusing? That was exactly how I felt at the moment. My mind felt like a browser connected to a shitty internet service with at least about a zillion tabs open - frankly speaking, I wished my brain would ust explode, save me from this headache.
"I love you. I love you so fucking much", "I want to break things off with Perrie", "I love you" ; most sounds I blocked out, everything except Zayn's voice and those few sentences he told me right before I ran away.
I couldn't get them out of my head.
I wished I had said those words back, let Zayn know that he wasn't the only one feeling so lost and conflicted; it was the both of us. But back then my tongue was tied; I wasn't able to think straight. Zayn's words had surprised me leaving me with no words - leaving me with nothing to say.
I curled up furthur into my pilliow, hugging it close and tight; I wasn't ready. As much as I wanted Zayn, to be with him and to kiss him and everything else. I just wasn't ready for him yet; first, I had to figure out if getting back with Zayn was even a good idea considering how badly we ended up being last time. Last time, I got the worst blow; Zayn broke me. Was I really willing to go back to that? Risk that?
I didn't know.
A part of me was willing to throw myself at Zayn, let things flow the way they wanted to but the other part of me was more than scared of the consequences. If we fell apart this, I don't I will ever be fixed again.
"What are you thinking so hard about?" Zayn's voice broke through my thoughts and I shot up from my bed to glance at the doorway; his figure leaned against the wall, eyes fixed on me and a small fond smile tugged at his lips.
He looked beautiful; always did but today, he looked different - happier, if I had to say.
For a minute, no words were exchanged; Zayn's question stood were he had asked it as I made no struggle to try and reply it. Zayn gave me the time I needed. And as much as I wished we could, the two us can't run away from this conversation for eternity - it had to be done at some point.
"You will be here for the rest of your life if you want to know what going through my head at the moment" I replied quietly, with a small smile. Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see Zayn's shoulder slowly relax as he absorbed my words in.
His typical smug grin replaced the smile he was wearing earlier and he walked in, keeping an expected amount of distance between us two; my stomach twisted at that because I did want him closer - a lot closer.
"I wouldn't mind"
"No?" I questioned.
"No, I mean if I have to hear with me for the rest of my life talking about everything that goes through your head, then I wouldn't mind. Not one bit" He cleared it up with a sharp nod and a quick wink. And I wasn't sure if his actions were clearing up my head or just messing it up more.
"We should talk" I stated. A split second later, I patted the spot on the bed next to me, inviting Zayn to come and sit down. I surely wouldn't be able to talk to him if he stood right at the other side of the room.
"Yeah"
Zayn sat down opposite his eyes watching me curiously as if trying to figure out something - what he wanted to know, I didn't know.
"I broke things off with Perrie" He announced with small sigh, my head instantly snapped towards him at that, my hand landing on top of his and I made no movement to pull away. I was too shocked to even speak up - Zayn was no longer engaged, he was no longer Perrie's.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Great even. It wasn't working out between us. I didn't love her and it wasn't really fair on her" Zayn replied with a small shrug. I don't when either of moved closer but the distance between us wasn't so big any more - I could feel Zayn radiated warmth.
"I am not ready to get back just yet" I whispered.
"I know" Zayn answered, "I don't want to worry about getting back together just yet, I want to spent time together and all. Figure out if this is what we really want."
That left us there; there was nothing more to discuss. Now, we had to figure things out.
[ okay that was probably the worse thing I have ever written and I am really sorry for that. IMPORTANT- The thing is I am taking a break from wattpad and writing for the while, I will come online and stuff but no updates. It's not too serious, I just don't feel like writing at the moment and I feel like if I force myself to write then I am just going to give you guys some shit updates (like I have with today) and I don't really want to do that so yeah. I don't know how long I am taking this break for but I promise it wouldn't be too long. I just wanted to give you guys a update on this story before I took a break, so yeah. Sorry about this guys. But I really don't want to force myself to write these updates. ]
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Half A Heart // ziam
Fanfiction"We should stop lying to ourselves" "And pretend that we are not falling apart? Pretend that we still have that spark?" "Damn it! There is no need to pretend any thing" "Oh yeah?" "I need you. I don't care what you say but I am never letting go. I a...
