I know what to do know. I figured it out. I don't want to be here anymore, there is no point in life anymore. Everyone hates me. I go to school every single day, and I'm don't with it. I am done with people looking at me rudely, I'm done with being called names, I'm done with school, soccer, I'm just done with everything. No body understands me, my parents know nothing. My other siblings don't know anything either. My brother Bryan is 14 years old, he plays almost every sport there is and is good at every single one. He is popular, so he doesn't understand what's it like to not be loved. My sister Ragen is 9, she tries to be athletic, but isn't the best. She used to play soccer like me, but quit and now does year around swim. My whole family swims in the summer on a swim team, but she decided to do it year-round. She is only 9 so of course she doesn't understand. My other brother, Brice, is 4. He doesn't even know how to read yet, so he couldn't understand. And my parents are clueless. They have no idea what is going on in my life. I just got to school and I already want to go home. I'm glad the day is going by fast, it's lunch already. I hate lunch, everyday I just sit in the bathroom. I never eat anything at school, I'm too embarrassed, even though I lock my self in a stall. Lunch used to be my favorite, but it's honestly the worst thing ever now. I just sit here, on the toilet and don't do anything. Its not like it takes me 30 minutes to use the bathroom, I don't even go. Some days I cry, some days I eavesdrop on the popular girls' conversation when they go into the bathroom to talk about drama and do their makeup, and sometimes I just think. The bell finally rang, and I went to fifth period on the way to class every one called me names, the people who didn't just ignored me. I'm alone. No body loves me. I am done with all of this. I want my life to be over. The bell finally rings for school to be over, all day I've held in my tears. I can finally let them loose as I walk through my front door. I just collapsed on the couch crying. 10 minutes later I walk to the kitchen and pick up a knife. I slice through my wrist, cutting right along the veins. But nothing happened, I wasn't dead. I didn't even bleed that much. I walk up stairs still crying.
"Why won't this work?" I say to my self, "Why can't I just end my misery?" I walk into my room, shut the door. I tried almost any thing I could think of. I suffocated my self as the tears were falling down, nothing was working. But then it popped into my head, the one thing that could for sure work. But then the garage opened. My mom was home. I wipe away the mascara tears and go down stairs. I act like nothing happened and I was supper happy. My fake smile is back, I don't like it. I want to stop pretending this is all okay, tomorrow after school I am going to end this. I'm ending the fake smiles, fake laughs, fake personality, all of it. I'm ending me.
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Middle School Broke Me
Non-FictionA true story about how Erin survived middle school. She got bullied, then her boyfriend dumped her and became a bully him self. She fell into depression, committed suicide, and survived. She survived physically, but did she emotionally?
