Confessions of a Drug Dealers GF

Chapter 10

Momma managed to cook a lot of food in an hour. I guess that's what you know how to do when you have 6 kids. I'm not sure why she cooked so much, what I'm about to tell her I'm sure will ruin dinner for the rest of my life. All my big brothers some hood ass niggas and they're very protective of me. I'm their only sister and I'm the baby. But they've always liked Dj for me, said I ain't need a nigga like them. Except for the whole time he was a nigga like them and Quan knew about it. I think I was just as upset with him as I was with Dj. Momma tells me to set the table. My brothers all in the living room watching some old ass basketball game. I tell them go wash they hands because it's time to eat. Time to also die, I think.

We're all sitting and eating, having regular conversation. Well except for me, I'm deep in thought, so deep that I didn't even hear Momma ask me what I had to tell everybody.
"Strawberry? What did you have to tell us baby?" She smiles. My heart drops out of my butt and runs away. I take a sip of water. God I'm dragging this out.
"Okay so, um." Spit it out.
"So y'all all know what happened with Dj and what not right? We'll his situation and our relationship just got a lot more complicated because .. um .. I'm uh .. I'm pregnant." Silence.
"And I'm keeping it." Louder silence. I could literally shit myself. Momma looks like she already shit herself. My brothers all just looking at eachother. I've never wanted to feel more invisible.
"How far along are you?" Momma finally says.
"I'm not sure, I think 3, almost 4 weeks."
Momma takes a sip of water and excuses herself from the table. I'd rather her yell and act a fit but she's way too calm. I was way too scared. Quan asks me if Dj knows I plan on keeping it. That's when I remember how angry I was with him.
"Dj is one of the reasons why I'm keeping it! But you don't need to have ANYTHING to say to me g. You're my older brother, always the one talking bout 'Dj a good nigga for you sissy, he different than us'. Nigga you knew all along. Whole time you and JonJon was selling drugs with him!"
"You ain't have no business knowing that shit anyways, you a lil girl. That's grown man shit."
"Man nigga don't play that shit with me. Your concern should be to look out for me!"
"Man he still is different than us g." How ? I really wanted him to explain how he was different than any nigga we grew up with or any different from them!
"Man you sure he know you keeping this baby? He ain't tell you to get rid of it?"
Quan was really defending this shit, and was making it seem like I'm trying to trap Dj or something. I was 3 seconds from smacking the shit out of him when Momma came downstairs with a duffle bag full of my things. I gave her the most confused look.
"I don't know where you're gonna go but you can't have no baby in here, find you somewhere to go."
Was this really happening? No yelling, fussing or hitting? Was my momma really putting me out?
"Momma .." I cried. "This isn't fair, momma I'm sorry please, I need you."
"Go Strawberry."
Was she serious?! The very first time I mess up and she kicks me out ? All my brothers have been locked up more than 4 times and she welcomes them back with open arms. I'm her only daughter, he last baby, why would she do me like this?
"Momma please." I cry out. She just looked at me with tears in her eyes. This hurt worse than anything ever. I can't believe she was turning her back on me.
"Go." She managed to say in between falling tears. Then she walked away and into her room. I swear my life was going downhill. Where was God with that magic eraser?