Last breath

- Chapter three -

As usual I woke up before sunrise. I guess it's a habit. Slipping on my silk maroon robe. I walk down to make myself a caramel coffee. Something about the smell of coffee in the morning makes me really happy. I put on my morning playlist that fits my mood and I breath. Letting everything soak in. Everything that has happened. I grab my coffee and walk up to my balcony. As the sun rises from the bottom of the city to above the sky scraper. It wasn't as beautiful compared to the sunset at the park but this sunrise was pretty. I open my journal and began to write. Just like any other morning but this morning was worth the words i was going to write.

November 17

To day was unlike any other. I feel more alive. Like I'm living. I feel okay when I'm around Nathan. I hate to admit it and I know it wont last long, but I won't deny that i want to keep this feeling here. It's like every breath is different. It's no longer the same In and out breathing. It has a meaning and oh how I love it. I don't see sunsets as beauty anymore. I see them as different art now. I see everything new. As if i took a silly potion or something. I just don't want it to leave.

Love,

your dear self.

I listen to my music and watch at people turn on their lights In their apartment to head to work and cars driving to where they need to go. The sun rising as a reminder of a brand new day. I look at the time. "7:58am" Ugh I'm such a morning bird. Walking back into my room and choose to get ready.

Surprisingly I was ready by 8:37 in the morning. Usually I take longer because I don't find the need to get ready. I grab my keys and text Nathan that I'm on my way. I have a feeling today is not going to be a disappointing day. It's days like this where i wish I can text Elezabeth and have a girl gossip. It's weird with out her but i promised her that i would live my life and tell her stories when i meet her again.

Nathan lives about five miles from where I live. So I was all ready here and I'm here early but he shouldn't mind. He texted me saying that it's the ninth floor and apartment 605 I wanna say. I almost took the stairs,but that's a lot of steps so I'll pass. Nervous I knock on his door begging that it was the right one. I stop holding my breath when Little Jenn opened it. "Hey little J!" I smile picking her up to hug. "Hey Manda" she squeezes me.

"Jenn you're not suppose to open the doors for anyone." Nathan was laughing as he shook his hand on Jenn's head messing her hair up. He was fresh out the shower. White tee with distressed black jeans. "I know but I couldn't wait for Manda to come over!"

"Hello Nathan. Glad to be back." He gives me a warming hug. "Well I have to leave for work in thirty minutes. Don't break anything, don't burn anything, and I beg for you guys to not ruin my designer couch and rug. I'm talking to you Manda." He gives a wink. "Yes, I'll try my best not to but i will warn you that I'm a cults." I wink back. He gives a warming smile and walk back to his room. "What's the plan today Jenn?" I say heading to the couch and turning the TV on. "No Shopping for Jenn!" Nathan yells. As if I'm going to listen to him. "Oh course not Nath!" I wink towards Jenn and whisper "We're going shopping and having a girls night."

"I heard that." Nathan says standing around the corner. " Come on, I hate being inside the whole day. Life is spent out the house not in"

"Fine but don't spend more on her then you will yourself. That's my job." He smiles at Jenn. "YAY!" She screams. "I'm going to leave now. Seriously please don't ruin my living space."

"You call it living space too!" I was always teased about saying living space.

"Yes!" His hand motions were exactly how I was feeling. We both laughed and he left the apartment.

"So, Little Jenn what is the plan today?" I say opening his fridge to get strawberries. "Let's have a girls day. Get our nails done and shop!" She says picking up a washed strawberry and popping it in her mouth. This little girl may be young but she sure does act grown. And not in the ignorant way. "You got yourself a plan. Leaving in just a bit!" I put the strawberries away and grab my drink. "Okay grabbing my keys!" I say swinging my keys with one hand and having my passion tea in the other with strawberries as a snack. My passion tea spilled all over my shirt. Jenn stood in front of me and ran around the corner. "Jenn where are you going!" I say setting my stuff down. She comes around the corner with a black tee shirt. "Black matches everything is what Nathan says and he has a lot of black shirts so you can borrow this and we will shop for shirts." She says smiling. "Thank you Jenn. We will stop by star bucks and grab us some drinks." I lock his door and head to my car.

"Okay seat belt please. Nathan would kill me if I hurt you in an accident." I turned on my radio to a chain smoker song. "He wouldn't kill you he loves you to much." What she said shocked me. I turned around to look at my back seat where she was sitting. "What did you say?" Trying to make sure I wasn't hearing things.
"Oh, I may be young but anyone with a heart knows that you guys can't stand to be away from each other for more than three days. You can act like you don't love him but you like him more than you think." She was out of her little mind. I didn't love Nathan. Maybe I had feelings but they were minuet. "Oh no Jenn. I understand you like me as a babysitter but Nathan and I are not in love." She smiled at me. She smiled as if she all ready knew what the universe had in plan. "Okay, just you wait then." I turned back around in shock, and started driving. She then spoke again. "You know I never got to see my parent's love but I sure see yours and Nathan's love story Amanda. You don't see it but I do." She reached over to touch my hand that was resting on my hand rest. I breathed. I'm not sure what I feel for Nathan.