Last breath

- Chapter seven -

       " So is it our thing to always go out to eat now?" I laughed a little bit. We have literally always eaten out. I've never really been one to go out to eat much. I always loved the comfort of my own house. The view that I have from my apartment makes me feel like I'm okay I guess you'll say.
" I mean, we can go home and eat if you'd like. I just like trying new things." He says pulling my seat out for me.
" No no. I'm just wondering. I just don't go out to eat often." Picking up the menu I soon realized that the fishes around me are beyond beautiful. I smile to myself. I've always loved animals. Instead of putting love into someone else. I put it into something I know will love me just the same. If I wasn't so busy I would own a dog. Many dogs for a matter of fact, but I just never had the time. I'm always walking to a coffee shop or going in for an interview for my clothing designs.
"What are you smiling at?" Nathan was looking at me with a smile and Jenn was doing the same exact thing but she was giggling.
"The waiter is waiting for your order. You were gazing at all the fishes with an adorable smile on your face." I looked behind me to see the waiter indeed waiting for my order smiling with Nathan and Jenn. I haven't even looked at the menu yet. I quickly scan the menu and mouth the words " what did you get? " Nathan smiled, " she will get the California salad with the chicken fettuccine."
"I can give you more time if you need it." The waiter replied. " no no, you're fine" Nathan replied back. "Okay, I'll have that ready for you." The waiter walked right away. " I didn't order my drink." I said. "I ordered you water while you were adoring your surroundings."
"How'd you know I wanted water?" I questioned. "I remember seeing you jog around the park. I just assumed you were a healthy type person" that alone made me smile like an idiot. The fact that he remembers me from before we met. "Do you think the fishes are happy here? " Jenn breaks the short silence. "I'm sure they are. They can make new fish friends." I reply back to Jenn. ", so we're a little bit like the fishes?" She said. I didn't understand her question. "Jenn what do you mean?" Nathan asked. "I mean. Are we like the fishes? We get put into a new world and have to make new friends." In a small case. You can say we are like fishes. She continued. "That's why they say there's other fish in the sea. Every fish is different. Some are family but they get split up in their own world, and have to make new friends."
Nathan kissed Jenn on the forehead. "You're so smart. I love you so much." Jenn hugged Nathan's arm. " I love you too bubby." She walks around the table to kiss me on the cheek. "I love you Mandy." I felt so loved by this eight year old. She was so young but she knew the world is in her hands. As if she knew what the world really was. I manage to get the words out of my mouth with all its meaning. " I love you to Jenn."
     "Here is your meals. I hope you enjoy it. Don't rush. I know this one," he puts his hand on my shoulder. "Like our fishes. Please enjoy. My name is Sciles if you need anymore help."
"Thank you!" I say and he continues to do his job. " So if I am correct. You like animals?"  He said. "You seem to look deep into my life Nathan. My mother doesn't even look that hard into my little movements." I say smirking. "Well, I can't help but adore you when you have so much love in your eyes when you look at things." I could have said the same exact thing. He loved fettuccine. He loved the touch of the sun seeking between the skyscrapers. He loved Jenn so much that fire burned anything that came between them. He had so much before him. He looks at me with such delicacy as if he knew that the world hurt me. I think he does know that, and that is why I have so much fear when I'm with him. Not the kind you don't want to feel, but the kind you crave. He was giving me something I haven't felt in life and he doesn't even know how much it means to me.
      " I do love animals. I love them a lot." I said.
"I like animals a lot to but I've never seen someone love them as much as you. Do you own a dog?" He asked me.
      " I do not. I'm always on the go. I don't want to leave my pet at home for so long." I'm so tempted to buy a dog now.
     "I'm going to guess that you are a dog person?" I reply. "I am, my parents gave me a dog when I was younger but we had to give it up."
      "I want a dog bubby" Jenn says eating her chicken sandwich.
      "Maybe one day jenny" he says taking one of her French fries.
      "Why did you have to give it up?" I asked
"It became a liability that my parents didn't want to handle with when Jenn came into the world. I'm not going to complain about it, but I do miss him. His name was Chance."

"Was there a reason his name was Chance?"

"He gave me a chance to prove my parents I was responsible. He gave me the chance to be loved now that I think about it." He takes a bit into his fettuccine, and smiles. I whisper Loud enough for him to hear. "Chance, I like that."
I looked around, and realized that we get many chances in life. We just don't give them all a chance to do us right. Little did Nathan know. I was allowing myself the chance to finally feel something other than grief or fear. I was letting myself feel everything. I'm not going to complain about it either. These siblings made me feel like the world was even again. It wasn't on my side, but it wasn't against me either.