Last breath

- Chapter six -

     November 22nd
The endless smile that you can't wipe off on a beautiful night. Is a feeling everyone should have. Even if it's for just a limited time. When you are happy within the moment. Everything looks beautiful. Being happy within the moment and just being happy. Are two different feelings that are both worth feeling. Tonight is a night where everything looks beautiful. Your smile the most beautiful.

     Just as I finished my last sentence in my journal my phone rings.
"Mother" it says. I don't hesitate to answer.
"Hi mom!" I say. It's almost 12am. Which makes me question why she called me.
"Hi hunny, I met a boy that knew you. He was buying roses! I also told him-"  I cut her off.
"You told him I liked to write didn't you." I say with a smile that she couldn't see through the phone.
"Yes, I'm assuming he gave you a rose and a journal." She said and I could feel her smile through the phone.
"Yes, he did. Thank you. What were you doing getting roses?"
"I get Elizabeth and her family a rose every once and a while to let them know that they're still in my heart. That's all." I felt my heart hurt a little but it's not as bad as it would have been if I didn't have a distraction. She continued, "hunny I know you're hurt still, but she would want you to live your life." I heard this many times and I all ready know it.
"Yes mom I know. I am living my life. That boy is named Nathan and he asked me out with a rose and journal!" I say jumping back to my present. It hurt to much to live in my past.
"He did! What did you say!" She said so excited.
"Well yes of course. I need something different. I babysit his sister, Jenn. She is such a sweetheart." I reply back.
"Well I'll let you sleep so you can go babysit darling. I love you a lot. Please remember that." She says with a motherly tone.
"I love you to mom. I miss you." And that's where our conversation ended. I laid in bed. I wasn't sure if I was ready to change my lifestyle, but I knew that it would be something worth writing to tell Elizabeth when I see her again. 
       Once again I'm awake before sun rise. I make my coffee and make my oatmeal. Sitting on my balcony over looking the city. It was one of the things I loved about life. I was able to take in ineffable beauty. Sometimes we forget how beautiful the world is. We live in it on a daily base and never really take in what our surroundings are. I had much time left over to waste so I decide to work on some designs for my clients clothing line. As the sunrises. My emotions began to heal.
    I knock on Nathan's door. "Hey girlfriend!" He says giving me a kiss on my cheek. "Hello boyfriend" I say back. Jenn runs up to me and hugs me. "He Jenny! Missed me all ready!"
"She couldn't wait for you to come over." Nathan said.
"WE'RE GOING TO THE AQUARIUM!" Jenn screams. I was confused.
"Aquarium?" I asked Nathan.
"Yeah, I took off work to hang out with the two of you. If you don't mind." He grabs his wallet.
"Of course I don't. I just wasn't expecting it. Um, why'd you want to hang out again?" Nathan laughed.
"Look, life is more than working. Let's go see pretty fishes." He says pulling me into a hug.
"Life isn't lived within a four wall building!" Jenn said, "that's what Nathan always tells me."
I couldn't help but smile and hug Nathan back. He gives me a kiss on the forehead. "Let's start the move now!" He says letting go of our hug. Which left me wanting for more, and started walking to the car. I run to hug him from behind. "Hey babe!" He laughs. He opens the car door for Jenn and I, and our first adventure begins.
     "I think this is where dory is." Jenn says while looking at a fish tank that I'll admit. Looked just like the home dory was born in. We threatened to drop Jenn in the takes a couple of times and she would always scream. I don't remember the last time I was at a aquarium, but it was like moving art. Creatures you couldn't see on a daily base. "Hey Amanda this one looks like you!" I turned around and went to go look at what he was pointing at. It was a blob of pink on the floor. It honestly didn't look like a fish. "It's so ugly and unique it's cute." He said looking at me with a smile "Nathan. I don't even think that's a fish." I said.
"Sure it is." He pointed at an information sign. "It's called the pink blonfish" he said laughing at his own joke. I hit him on his arm and walked to the next fish take. I couldn't help but smile when I turned around because he was still laughing at his own joke while following jenn and I. He caught up with me. "Hey they have this real neat aquarium restaurant in the aquarium. We should try it out!"
"They eat their own fish!" I screamed in a whisper of disbelief.
"No, they don't. It's regular food." He laughed.
"Then I don't see why we can't go there." I replied. I looked at Jenn "are you hungry Jenn?" I say shaking my hand in her hair. She was so distracted by the fishes. "I think she likes the aquarium." I tell Nathan.
"She always had a love for animals. She's like you. She would protect any animal even if it risked her." He said looking at me. I looked at Jenn and couldn't help but adore how innocent Jenn was. I picked her up. "Let's go eat Jenn. They have fishes in the restaurant." I say giving her a piggy back ride. She whispers in my ear. "I'm happy you're happy with Nathan manda. He really does like you. Please keep him happy. He hasn't been this happy from what I remember. I'm happier too. Thank you so much manda I love you for making us happy." She said giving me a hug while on my back. I looked up to see if Nathan heard and he was ahead of us leading the way. Manda. Jenn sounded just like Elizabeth. Manda was my nick lame for Liza. Another similarity that Liza and Jenn shared. "I love you too Jenn. I'm a little happier too." I was shocked that I said that. I wasn't planing on replying. I said that with out a lie too. I smiled to myself because I could say I was happy out loud. Even if it was a little. Reaching the restaurant Nathan asked me. "What are you smiling about Amanda." He laughed a little and got our table.