I Am

Chapter 16 - Peter's POV

The next 5 chapters will be from Peter's POV!

I had been in a haze all week. Briella had barely talked to me since Monday. I was afraid I was just going to break down every time I saw her.

I hadn't realized it before, but I really loved Briella. I needed her. Even with all of her problems, she was a comfort to me. I knew that she could relate to my struggles, she sympathized with me. But now she had left me.

I had gotten caught up with Avery and everything else and Briella had pretty much fallen through the cracks. Now I regretted it.

I was on my way home from church Sunday, lost in thought, when my phone started to ring.

"Hello," I answered.

"Peter," my dad's voice answered. "Avery, she's taken a turn for the worse."

"Ok," I said panicked. "I'll be there as soon as possible."

I hung up the phone, made a u-turn, and started to rush towards the hospital. I didn't understand. Avery had been doing great! She had been doing chemotherapy for 2 weeks, and had been responding well. The doctors hadn't even been worried about her!

When I finally got to the hospital I ran to room 738. I saw McKenna laying in my dad's lap crying. Eva and Marco were sitting in a chair together stunned. And little Avery. Avery was laying in her bed. She was surrounded by doctors. Apparently they were trying to stabilize her.

That's when I realized that she wasn't breathing.

I fell to my knees right then and there and cried aloud to God.

"Oh, God, if it be your will please give Avery life again. Please God."

I was sobbing and I couldn't choke anymore words out so I just kneeled there. I could see my father sitting in his chair praying silently, McKenna was still crying hysterically in his lap.

They continued doing frantic CPR for 30 minutes. Finally, she started to breathe. I was so relieved. Everyone was still crowded around her, but they weren't so panicked.

They finally decided to put her on life support. She had passed out and hadn't woken up. The doctors thought she might have been without air long enough tone brain damaged. They told us that if we took her off like support she would die. If we left her on she might have brain damage for the rest of her life, or she might never wake up.

***

One week. That's how long I stayed by Avery's bedside. I did not leave. I just stayed there. One week. I can't describe to you the terrible sadness that I was feeling. I felt like Avery was already dead. I guess she basically was dead. One week was how long my dad was going to let her stay on life support before he pulled the cord. Before he let her see Jesus. We were at the end of that week.

I could not do anything but stand there and let the silent tears roll down my face.

McKenna had layed in Avery's bed right beside her red-haired twin sister

"Avery's going to be alright," she would say, but that was hard to believe.

We woke that morning at the end of the week with somber faces. The air was heavy and it was hard to breathe. We all knew that if Avery didn't wake up today, we had to do it. We had to pull the cord.

I was very confused at that time. I didn't understand why God would let this happen to Avery. She didn't deserve it! My anger swelled inside of me like a balloon. No. I couldn't get angry at God. I had to keep praising God.

I stood staring at her pale, porcelain face and the tears started to flow from my eyes yet again. Each tear flowed hot and heavy down my cheeks. My heart felt like it was shattered into a million pieces. Every tear drop created an ocean, a wave of emotions. I had never felt a pain so bad as a broken heart. I couldn't bear it. Her beautiful blue eyes had been closed to the world for a week, and may never see the world again. I would never see that playful glow in her cheeks again. They would be dead and pale, turning to dust in a coffin. Oh, the agony of the thought.

At about 3 in the afternoon, my dad looked at me and I knew what he meant. We called the Dr. Rossin int othe room.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

My dad looked at her and I guess she understood.

"I'll do it," I said. I wanted to be the one to end it. I don't know why I just did.

Dr. Rossin got out her stethoscope and held it Avery's chest to listen for a heartbeat.

I walked over to the machine. I was constantly praying. I told God I had faith, but I wasn't completely sure myself.

I looked one last time on her pale face. She looked completely lifeless, laying in the kind of position they put dead people in when they are put in a coffin. I just couldn't let her stay anymore. I had to let her be with Jesus, if she wasn't already there that is.

My dad was holding her hand and McKenna was laying beside her. Eva and Marco were standing at my dad's legs watching, half hidden behind my dad.

I could see silent tears flowing from my father's eyes. Eva and Marco were also crying, though they probably did not fully understand what was going on. Strangely, though, McKenna was very calmly laying beside her sister.

I looked at the machine, and, following Dr. Rossin's instructions, I slowly flipped the switch to off. The lights on the machine all turned off. The room became silent. I guess we had all had some sort of hope that maybe, just maybe she would wake up. But now it was done. Then I heard something.

"Hi Avery," McKenna said. I guess McKenna was going crazy.

"McKenna?" I heard a preply that sounded strangely like McKenna's voice, no, strangely like Avery's voice.

I opened my eyes and looked. Avery was sitting straight up with a big smile on her face.