Falling In Love, Alone

Chapter 4

                Jack drove home from band practice and went immediately to his mirror to look at himself. The lanky boy in front of him was hopelessly confused. His eyes narrowed and examined the few streaks of blonde highlights in his hair, wondering what the fuck even made him think of getting them. With a sigh, he sat down on the rim of the bathtub and burrowed his face in his hands.

                “Now I know how Alex feels,” Jack whispered to himself. Alex had been rolling around in his head for a while now and it was sending him into confusion. Alex this. Alex that. Alex Alex Alex. It was getting to him. Even though he hated thinking about Alex so much, the thoughts made him happy. He didn’t know how he was supposed to feel. Jack’s phone vibrated on the sink ledge, shining Holly’s name.

                -Me. You. My bed. Now?

                Jack laughed, thinking that this was absolutely NOT the time for that. On the other hand, he’d been rejecting Holly a lot lately. His phone vibrated again. Alex.

                -Out front your house. Can I come in?

                Jack was about to answer, “Can’t, going to Holly’s” but he needed to talk to Alex. He knew if things got awkward, they’d never make it out alive. So he answered Holly.

                -Me. Throwing up. My toilet. Now. Still want my company?

                Holly replied quickly.

                -Fuck you.

                Jack ran down the steps to the front door and opened it for Alex. It was pouring rain and Alex appeared to be drenched.

                “Dude, how long have you been standing out here.” Jack asked, pulling Alex into his house. Alex took off his soaked hoodie and threw it on the floor before answering.

                “I was debating on talking to you, so I’ve been here for about an hour.” Alex shook his hair like a wet dog. Jack observed Alex up and down; the damage easily showed that he was telling the truth.

                “Yeah, well I wanted to talk to you, too.” Jack said, patting Alex’s back and leading him to his room. For a while, they sat silently on Jack’s bed listening to the rain drip on the roof. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

                “Can I kiss you?” Alex asked quickly. Jack laughed softly and the looked over at Alex to see if he was serious. He was. Jack hesitated, not knowing what to do. The second he kissed Alex…would that make him gay? Or would it just be… for fun? He wanted to kiss Alex, that was the main point. But he couldn’t let Alex think he wasn’t straight.

                “Sure, only because I’m not getting any action from Holly,” Jack smiled shyly. Alex slowly turned his torso towards Jack, staring at him for moments longer in silence. He lifted his hand to Jacks neck and latched on calmly, rubbing his fingers on the back of his neck. This sent a shiver down Jack’s spine. He wanted to back out now. He didn’t feel good, but before he knew it, Alex pulled himself in to fill in the gaps between his lips with his own. It was a two second peck when Alex retreated. He moved only a centimeter away from Jack’s face to think for a second. Jack bit his own lip in thought. Then, Jack pulled Alex in for more. Another peck. Pull away. Seven seconds. Pull away. One minute. Stay. They stayed with their lips pressed together for a long period of time before Jack pulled away and went to the bathroom to throw up.

                Alex came in after Jack as he flushed the toilet and leaned against the wall. Alex slid down the wall to sit beside him leaning his head against his best friends shoulder. Jack was in panic. He remembered that things couldn’t get awkward. Things had to remain the same.