I never thought this would happen. I never thought something like this would happen to us. I never thought I'd be losing my Eric. As I rushed into the hospital I saw Eric's mother talking to-Kevin's father-Dr. Moore. "How is he?" I asked out of breath from rushing. Eric's mom hugged me. "Honey...........he.............he's gone........he didn't survive long after he got here........" she whispered. No. No this can't be happening. Not my fiance. Not my Eric. I ran past them, and into Eric's room. He was gone but his sheets were still messed up from him being in his bed. I curled up on his bed, and I cried. Why did that stupid truck have to hit him?! Why?! Why?! I kept thinking of this morning when I talked to him. 'I love you baby girl....I can't wait to make you mine forever...' was the last thing he'd said to me. He had sounded so happy. So full of life. Now he's gone. My Eric is gone. "Honey....." I heard Damien say. "He's gone.......my Eric is gone!" I cried. I felt Damien sit next to me. "Honey......he was in so much pain...............he kept going into cardiac arrest...............honey......aren't you happy he's not suffering anymore?" He whispered as he rubbed my arm. I shook my head. "I want my Eric back! I want him back! I want him back!" I cried. Damien held me.
When I walked into the funeral home a few days later I had Kevin on my left side and Ushina on my right. They were practically holding me up. As we got closer, and closer to the coffin I could feel my legs getting weaker. "It'll be ok Jade......it'll be ok....." Ushina whispered in tears. Ushina never liked Eric, but I know seeing me hurt was hurting her. I saw Eric's parents then I saw Eric in his coffin. I started crying hard. I hugged his parents as I cried. "Oh Jade......" his father whispered. "I want him back! I want him back!" I cried. "I know honey I know" his mom whispered. "He loved you so much......." his dad whispered in tears. "I....I loved him too....when he asked me to marry him....I was so happy" I whispered looking down at Eric. "He was so happy too.....he couldn't stop smiling" his mom whispered. I closed my eyes picturing the look on his face when I said yes. I started crying again. 'My Eric...my poor Eric...' I kept thinking over, and over. I gently touched his ice cold face with my fingertips. I bent down, and I kissed his ice cold lips one last time and I walked out of the funeral home.
I sat there on the ice cold side walk crying for so long. I wanted it to go away. I wanted the pain to go away. I dug through my purse looking for the answer. Looking for the one thing that would make my pain disappear. I felt my fingertips brush over the cold metal of my blade. I closed my eyes, and took in a deep breath as my hand grasped my blade. I haven't done this in so long. For the first time in years I was scared to do it. I pulled the blade out of my purse. It was so sharp, so clean. Soon it would be stained with red rubies. I pressed the blade to my white porcelain skin. 'Just do it...you've done it before....do it!' A voice screamed in my head. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut. I pressed the blade against my skin. White porcelain was stained red in those next moments. So much red. The warm liquid dripped from the wound and onto my black heels. I could feel my heart beating extremely hard, and fast. 'Again!' The voice in my head screamed. I pressed the blade to my wrist again. "Jade" I heard Ushina's voice coming from the entrance to the funeral home. "Oh no......" I whispered. I pulled my blade away, and I accidentally left a long cut going down my arm. Blood was flowing from my wound fast. "Oh God......no......" I whispered as I clutched my arm, trying to stop the bleeding. "Jade?" I heard Ushina call out again. "U-Ushina..........." I whispered. My vision was getting blurry. "Jade!" I heard Ushina yell. She saw me. Thank God. I tried walking towards her, but my legs gave way and I fell. "Jade! Oh my God! Somebody help!" Ushina screamed at the top of her lungs. I heard people rushing out of the funeral home. I could hear Eric's dad on the phone with 911. "Jade!" I heard Kevin's voice. "K.....ev.....in......" I whispered, my voice getting fainter. I felt pressure being applied to my wound. "Keep your eyes open Jade! Keep them open!" Ushina yelled. I was so tired. So very tired. I tried to keep my eyes open, but before I knew it they slowly closed. 'Jade....' I heard a familiar voice. Who was it? Where was I? 'Jade....' came the voice again. I looked around. "Who's there!" I called out. 'Baby girl....it's me....' the voice said. "E-eric?" I whispered. I saw him step out of the darkness. He held his arms out, and smiled. Tears fell from my eyes, and I ran into his arms. "Oh Eric! My Eric! My Eric!" I cried. He held me. "My beautiful girl" he whispered as he held me. I looked up at him with tear filled eyes. "Why baby girl....why...." he said sadly. "W-why what babe?" I whispered almost silent. "Why did you kill yourself baby.......why did you leave your family, and your friends behind" he whispered. Killed myself? I...I killed myself? "Babe.....no...I.....I couldn't of.....I......I just passed out......" I whispered. He held me close. "They're trying to bring you back......go back baby girl.....you have to" he whispered. I shook my head quickly. "No babe no! Please don't make me Eric! Please baby please!" I cried. He held me close. I could feel my soul drifting away from his. Eric gave me one final kiss. A kiss I will always remember. "I love you so much Jade Elisabeth Leone....you were my whole world....and even in death you still are...." he whispered. "I love you too Eric James Martin forever and ever" I whispered.
"I think she's waking up" I heard zoom say. "I think you're right dude her heart monitor just quickened" I heard Alex say. My eyes fluttered open, and I looked around. I felt a breathing tube in my nose, and my throat felt scratchy. "W-where am I?" I whispered in a raspy voice.
"The hospital......."Ushina said quietly. "H-hospital?" I whispered. "Stay here with her you two I have to go get Kevin" Alex said as he left the room. I tried sitting up. "Stay down Jade....you need to rest" zoom said pushing me down. I stared up at the ceiling. I kept thinking over, and over about Eric. About our final goodbye kiss. I heard the door open. "Jade oh thank God you're awake!" I heard Kevin exclaim. I heard Kevin run over, and hug me. 'Baby girl...' I could hear Eric's voice. A tear fell from my eye. I felt my arms wrap around him, and I hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry......" I whispered. "Jade....you scared me to death" he whispered. "I know...I'm sorry...." I whispered in tears. He held me tight. I had hurt him. I had hurt my best friend. "Come on Kevin she needs to rest..." I heard Ushina say. Kevin nodded. "If you need anything....anything at all....just call, I'll be right outside the door. I nodded slowly. When he left I turned my head, and stared out the window. I was hurting everyone. Everyone I loved I was hurting. "Why God? Why?" I whispered. A tear fell from my eye. I just wanted this pain to go away. I just wanted it all to stop. I heard the door open, and shut. I didn't turn to see who it was, but I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. At that moment I felt a sort of peace come over me. "Sleep" a soft comforting voice whispered into my ear. Before I knew it I slowly drifted off to sleep.
