That One Game.

a f t e r - e l l a

She gave us her last smile. I saw her flash her pearly white teeth at me for the last time.

I watched her mousy brown hair flow in the wind as she ran to her certain death, drunk out of her mind.

I wish I could have saved her. Everyone does. But I do the most.

She is my best friend. Was my best friend.

I watched as that bright red train came hurtling towards her, with no chance of stopping.

I knew then, my best friend was dead.

I pushed my head in Hunter's arm, not wanting to watch her die.

I couldn't.

Imagine it, watching you best friend die while you watched on, unable to do fuck all?

That was the worst day of my life. It always will be.

•

"I'll miss you, Ella. But you know. You think I'm too chicken."

Grace takes a step forwards.

"Too weak."

Another step.

"Too stupid."

She's stood in the middle of the tracks again.

I try to scream at her to move, but I can't form words. I'm speechless.

"See you soon, Ella."

"Hunter!" I scream, ripping my eyelids open, stopping the nightmare.

My bedroom door flies open, my tired looking mother stands there.

"Another dream, Ella?"

I nod, crying softly.

She runs to me and pulls me into her arms. I can smell her perfume from the day before. The motherly smell. The one you associate with safety.

Except, I'm never safe.

"Call Hunter, Ella."

My mother kisses my head before walking out.

With shaking fingers, it takes me nine tries before I get through to Hunter.

"El?" His voice isn't tired. His voice is rough and throaty, like he had been crying for the past two days.

Thats right, he had. We all had.

"It's me." I sob into the phone.

"I'm coming over."

And he hangs up.

I rock myself backwards and forwards on my bed, clutching one of Hunter's jumpers. I slip it on over my head and breathe in his scent of orange and pine.

My tears drip silently onto the jumper, leaving tiny puddles of emotions. I can't do anything to stop the tears. So I wait, crying and waiting for Hunter to save me.

Every night for the past two days, Hunter would end up coming over. He can't sleep and when I can I have horrific nightmares. But when we are together, I fight off his nightmares while he fights off mine. We can get a few hours of sleep if we are lucky.

As soon as I heard Gabriella scream, I knew my best friend had died. I took out Hunter's phone from the back pocket of his jeans, and dialled 999.

We all stayed, huddled up against the back wall of the abandoned building. We were in hysterics, I couldn't stop crying but no one else could. They couldn't let the tears out.

The doctors said that could happen.

I sat on Hunter's lap until the police and ambulance came. We got taken away to the hospital to be checked over and our parents were rung.

My mother wasn't mad at me, Grace was like the second daughter she never had. We were all close.

I watched Grace die so many times that night before I rang Hunter to pick me up. We drive round aimlessly in his matt black car. My fingernails were red raw from my teeth and my face was permanently stained red from crying.

It's been two days since the death of my best friend, Grace Hollander.

A rock being thrown at my window pulls me back into reality, which I am glad for.

I jump up and walk to the bay window.

"Open the door, Ella." Hunter is clearly talking through his tears.

He needs me just as much as I need him.

I run down the stairs and undo the lock, my fingers fumbling over the gold chain.

I fling the door open and as soon as humanly possible, I'm in Hunter's arms.

I wrap my arms round his middle, burying my face in his chest while his head is in my messed up 'nightmare' hair. I can hear his sobs and I intertwine our fingers. Holding onto him as if the world could take him away from me.

Hunter pulls away and grabs my hand. He slips off his shoes before taking me back to my room.

We climb into bed. He holds his arms out welcoming me in. I take them quickly.

I hold onto his arm to make sure he can't escape while he whispers in my ears.

"Ella, I'm here, sweetheart. I'm here. You're okay. You're safe. I got you."

And at that moment I realise I am not okay. I'm far from okay. I'm messed up.

"I love you." He whispers.

People say you can't love someone after two days, but trust me I can. I've always loved Hunter, I know it. I can't sleep or eat without Hunter. Hunter knows exactly what I'm going through. I don't have time to wait to say I love you. What if I never get the chance? What if Hunter is taken away from me, just as quickly as Grace was?

That can't happen. I'm not wasting any time.

"I love you."

I fall into a light sleep and I need it. I dream of nothing but Hunter and I.

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN TWO DAYS, I FORGET I'M THE BROKEN GIRL WHO SHOULD HAVE SAVED HER BEST FRIENDS LIFE.