Masked feelings / A tobi x deidara fanfic/

Barely breathing

It was a dark day in the akastuki hideout. The sky was grey and dull thick with fog and a light rain had begun to drizzle the ground.
The akastuki were inside there rooms it was quiet.
Too quiet.
"Tobi" deidara called out. The silence was deafening he did enjoy peace and calmness but today just wasn't like that. He needed sound. Even if it was tobis voice nonstop, he needed something.
"Where is the idiot un" deidara grumbled sitting up in his cool bed the dark room giving a calm atmosphere. Deidara slid out of bed and headed into the hallway to begin his search.

-tobi's POV-
It's cold around me, someone will notice soon but until then I'll enjoy the silence the soothing nothingness.
"Tobi" I hear deidara Senpai call out for me.
He's noticed.
I lay still my bare chest on the floor of my room it's a rainy day a sad day for me. Everyone gets sad it's normal. Even for me. Sighing I roll over and rest my head in my arms. I've been a bad tobi. The flashbacks of the people I've killed and the close ones I've hurt hitting me. The ones I've lost hitting harder.
Very bad.
I hear deidara in the hallway going in and out of doors the rhythm of his feet not stopping.
Tobi is not happy right now. Tobi is having a vacation day.
I rarely have these days I'm always so caught up in everyday life I often forget to sit down and think sometimes. I hate thinking.
My slight crush for deidara Senpai hasn't made things easier either. I hate my mushy feelings and the butterfly's I get when I'm near him. Stupid heart. Stupid handsome deidara.

-Deidara's POV-
"Where can he be?" I think to myself. The past few days I'll be honest I've noticed tobi becoming more and more quiet. Being the person I am I didn't think twice about it and continued to make my beautiful masterpieces, my art. At first I wasn't bothered by his silence, in fact I was quite happy with the peaceful walks during missions he would just walk besides me as though he were in another world. and I've been able to fall asleep quickly with the silence but now. It bothered me. A lot.
I walk from room to room. Knocking I enter hidans room.
"Have you seen tobi un?" I ask
"I'm trying to fucking sleep even if I did know where he was why would you think I would tell you?" He angrily mumbles into his pillow.
"He's been quiet" I add.
"Yeah I've fucking noticed dumbass now get out before I make you get out!" He says louder taking his head off his pillow for a second.
"Bitch un" I whisper before closing his door. I hear him yell threats towards me as I continue down the hallway.
I near tobis room. Why haven't I checked here first?! I think to myself slightly annoyed with myself.
I don't bother knocking I just want to hear this idiots voice. I open his door. He's not here. I walk towards his bed maybe if I wait he will soon show up. I hum to myself and trip suddenly over something on the floor landing hard on my ass. In a deep emotionless tone I hear it.
"Wow deidara Senpai your a clumsy one today"
Found him.
"You've been quiet un" I mumble slightly on edge by his sudden change in voice.
"So I have" his deep raspy voice giving me goosebumps and leaving an odd feeling in my stomach.
"What's wrong un?" I ask still acting as though he hasn't became a totally different person.
"Just been thinking" he replies. I nod and lay by him looking up at the ceiling the floor is hard but I don't mind I've slept in worse places. Somethings up with tobi this is weird but at the same time I feel at peace by him. I decide to let him think things out and wait until he's ready to tell me, closing my eyes I rest until then.

-Tobis POV-
He's laying by me. My mind races at his calmness he didn't even call me down or anything he didn't even ask why I sound different. He was so open to everything as though he really did care when he asked what was wrong. I keep my cool however and remain silent as he lays there with his eyes closed. He's adorable. I sigh.
I've been thinking about telling him about my feelings for him, but I just can't seem to find the correct words to tell him.
It all came so fast.
We were on a mission to find some kid, it was a long mission to say the least so me and dei-Senpai had spent a lot of time together. That's when I caught feelings he didn't even understand how handsome I found him, how brave I thought he was but the thing I soon came to like the most about him was his devotion for what he believed in, how he would rather die doing something he loved then not doing it at all.
Breathing in and finally coming to a conclusion I decide to tell him partly why I'm down. But I'll leave out the heartache part.
That can wait.
"It's like I'm drowning. Drowning in my own thoughts. I'm not proud of the things I've done not one bit" he turns his head towards me his eyes open now and nods at me to continue.
"The feeling in my chest is painful my heart feels cold, empty, dead. I'm struggling to understand all these sudden feelings. I feel dead inside. I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing"

Hello my sweet cakes! I hope you've enjoyed the first chapter! I know it's a shit story and I suck at this but Thanks for reading there's more to come please help me out if I've made any spelling mistakes it's  difficult typing with a glitchy phone. Stay tuned my lovelys ily comment suggestions! Sorry if tobi is quite down I hate to see him so sad too :(