Loving him

Chapter 5

I peeked at the clock behind me, it showed ten in de morning. That meant that my mother has gone to work already. It was a little bit unusual, since she always made sure to wake me up and call me for breakfast. Anyway, she was probably still worried about me and let me stay at home. I had to do something, but what? My life is a horrible mess, and I don't even know the purpose of it. There are just so many unanswered questions. The silent ticking of the clock on the wall became the only sound that surrounded me. For some reason I hated this silence, it was making me feel even more empty than I already felt.

'Knock, knock, knock' the loud knocks interrupted my little battle with my own mind, which I was thankful for. I most likely didn't want to lose, I wanted to win, to be finally free and move on, but as they say it is easier said than done.

Well who could've visited at this time of the day. Everyone I knew, had already known that those were my working ours. I slipped on some appropriate clothing and stepped out of my room focusing my attention on the front door downstairs. The person didn't give up and kept knocking, well it looks like he or she terribly wants to see me or maybe my mother? Hmm well let's see who it is.

'What the.....I mean good morning Mr.Martinez.' Ohh shoot what is he doing here. I smiled nervously and invited him inside. He had a takeout bag in his left hand, then he handed it over to me. I shrugged my shoulders, as on cue he answered 'Good morning Rose, I've heard that you're sick so I thought that it would be nice to get you some lunch' dammit i don't look sick at all. I felt a little uneasy with my boss in my own house, then I started overthinking and it got even worse, cause why the hell would my boss bring me food. I remember him acting weird lately ughhh I sighed and looked him straight in the eye. 'Yeah I don't feel so well today, I woke up with an enormous headache...but this really wasn't necessary' I said and pointed at the bag. I wondered if he acted like this towards al of his employees or just me.

'I know, but you're my PA and the charity ball is very close. As I already told you back in the office I want you with me there. For that you have be in a good shape, we will be talking to very important people and possibly our new clients.' Mr. Martinez turned his gaze back to me, sometimes I dont get that men, he comes to MY house, brings me food and afterwards he looks at me as if I did something wrong. He just has that something that makes him so intimidating and powerful. I looked at him from under my lashes 'I understand, I know what my responsibilities are. I will attend the ball in a perfect shape with you sir, but right now I would like to go back to my bed and be alone, that will definitely help me to get better and thats what you want, am I right Mr. Martinez.' There it is, I was waiting for this look on his face. I never knew I had any power over my boss, but it seemed so. Sometimes it even looks like as if he liked me a in different way. I wonder why though, I am not really nice to him, I kind of just threw him out my house after he got me food....well yeah I didnt ask for it so whatever.

After my boss left, I drifted off to sleep. I felt physically and mentally exhausted. I had a beautiful dream, I was running through a field full of flowers in a magnificent vintage dress. I run and run and run and then I saw him. He was standing there waiting for me, in that moment he was all I could see, all I could think of he was all I ever wanted. He made me the luckiest girl alive by just smiling, he was the sunshine of my life. BOOM, then I woke up and realized it was just a beautiful dream and that I would do absolutely anything to turn it into my reality.

I gave myself some minutes to cope with my delusions. I stood up from my comfortable and safe bed, I sat next to it on the floor, then reached under it and took my old diary. This time I promised myself that it will be the last time, that I will write in it, I had no reasons to do it either, he was all I could write about and it wasn't good for me, it only made me sad and heartbroken.

The door to my room opened and my mom walked in. 'How are you doing sweetheart ?' The sweet voice of my mother brought me to peace again. 'I've been better, but I'll be alright' I said, I didn't have to explain anything, she just smiled at me and told me to go downstairs with her. 'Do you want to talk about it?' My mother asked and started chopping the vegetables for dinner. 'Um I don't know I'd rather not. It's hard for me I don't think I'm able to talk about it yet.' I said and turned to the sink. 'I understand, I just want you to be happy' she turned to me and gave me a warm hug.

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I entered my office without any problems, I felt such relief that I didn't see David anywhere. I looked on my desk and started reading the documents that are needed for tomorrow's meeting before the ball. I worked hard for the next two ours, I sat back in my chair and looked at the ceiling. There was a light knock on my door that pulled me out of the trance. Kelly walked in with a grin plastered on her face. 'Guess who invited us to eat lunch with him?' Kelly squeaked and sat down in the chair in front of me. 'I have no idea....please don't tell me that it was our boss.' I prayed that it wasn't him, don't get me wrong he is handsome and pretty friendly, but he is my boss!! 'No, why would he want to have lunch with us Rose?' God damn it, hopefully she won't suspect anything. 'Why would I know that, but whatever tell me who it is ?' I asked curiously. 'I will give you some hints, he is very handsome, he has dark hair and his name starts with the letter...D'

For a moment I couldn't picture anyone, but then I remembered the last time I was  here, I remembered the kiss. 'David' I've heard a loud sigh, I looked up at my friend, she looked as if I just spoke out the name of God. He isn't even that handsome, I didn't understand why all the girls were like this. 'Come on he is waiting for us, he said he knows a good restaurant.' How am I suppose to say no to her, the glint in her eyes made it even worse. What if she really likes him? I asked myself, I also can't just let her go alone with him. I don't want my friend to get hurt. 'Okay I'll go, but we will have to talk after that, there is something you need to know.' After I said that she got a hold on my hand and dragged me out of the building. 'Look he is there' she pointed with her finger and waved at him.   As we got closer to the car he stepped out of and opened the door for us, I only threw him a disgusted look and stepped inside.

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What do you guys think? I would love to read your opinions on the story. I hope you liked it.

All the love,
~K