Raise a Glass to Freedom

A Winters Ball

For this story, I got the idea for this plot from JohnLaurensTurtle 's book "Lams Imagines". It's a really cool book with great plot inspirations!

College AU

Alex's POV:
"You don't know how to tie a tie. Come here." Laurens motioned for me to come over to my bed where he sat, scrolling through Instagram on his phone. He reached up to fix my tie, looping one end of the tie around and then tightening it. He pressed the toe into my chest once he was done. "You look handsome," he said, smiling at me. I grinned. "You too! But aren't you coming to the dance?" Laurens wore an old t-shirt and ripped jeans. The old kind of ripped jeans, not the cool stylish kind. He was wearing a Christmas sweater I had knitted for him, which he complained about a lot but he wore it anyway. I had to say- he looked exceptionally handsome in it. "I'm not going to the dance," Laurens said. I gave him a quizzical look, "Why not?" He shrugged. "I guess I don't really like dancing... and I don't have anyone to go with." He was right about that. I was actually about to ask him out to the dance a few days ago when I got a text from Eliza, asking me to go with her. I couldn't exactly say no. She's very pretty and kind, from what I've seen of her. When I told Laurens I was going with her, he seemed heartbroken. Probably just because he would be the only one without a date. I don't think he likes me, I'm nowhere good enough for him. Laurens cleared his throat, breaking my train of thought. "You should probably go pick up Eliza now." I looked at the clock, which said 7:15, 45 minutes to the dance. I hurried out the door of our shared dorm, pausing briefly to shout goodbye to Laurens.

Laurens POV:
The door slammed and Alexander was gone. Gone. Off to have the time of his life dancing with Eliza. Whatever, they were perfect for each other anyway. I flopped down on my bed, tears welling in my eyes. Of course Alex didn't want me. Why would he want me? Why would anyone want me?

My phone rang. I didn't answer it. Whoever it was was pretty insistent- they called twice and then left a voicemail. I pressed play and listened to the message, "Hey it's Peggy, I just heard what happened with Eliza and Hamilton and thought I should check in on you. Call me." Peggy was the only person in the world who that I was in love with Hamilton. I dialed her number and held the phone to my ear, waiting for her to pick up.

"John?"
"Hi, Peggy."
"John, are you okay?"
"Yeah..."
"No, no you're not. I can hear it in your voice. Is it Hamilton?"
"Yeah..."
There was a pause.
"John," I heard her sigh, "Have you tried drawing turtles to distract yourself?"
"I don't feel like it."
"Should I come over? We could just hang out."
I exhaled a shaky breath. "No, no, I wouldn't want to bother you, you should go to the dance and have fun with-"
"Hush now my gay turtle son."
I giggled.
"You're not bothering me," she continued, "Here, write a letter to Hamilton and tell him how you really feel and then if you want, you can leave it for him to find. Or you could just keep it to yourself if you want."
"Okay."
"Listen, I gotta go now," she said, "But if you need me for anything and I mean anything, you're going to call me, right?"
"Right," I replied.
"Love you," she said and hung up the phone.

I pulled out my laptop and began to write.

Hamilton's POV:
I love Elizabeth Schuyler. At least that's what I keep telling myself. I mean, I have to reason not to like her, she's charming and beautiful and smart. But somehow my mind keeps on wandering back to Laurens, alone in the apartment. He shouldn't have to be alone tonight, I wanted to keep him company, I loved him. No, I stopped my train of thought, Eliza is my date and I love her. I guess.

The lights dimmed on the dance floor of the winter's ball and a slow song began to play. Eliza grabbed my hand and led me to the dance floor. We began to dance. I shouldn't be here, I thought. I should be back home with Laurens. I love Laurens, not Eliza. I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be here. Eliza leaned closer to me, trying to rest her head on my shoulder. I let go of here hand and took a step back. She looked at me quizzically, taking aback. "I'm sorry," I muttered. "I just need a minute. I'll be outside." I turned and ran out of the dance hall.

The doors opened into a park. There was a bench sheltered by a tree which I sat at. I tilted my head back to look at the stars. I should be at home with Laurens. I love him. I sat there for several more minutes, trying to figure out how I could get home to Laurens without hurting Eliza's feelings.

"Alex! Alex! Are you okay?" Eliza came running towards me, her high heels clicking against the pavement. "I didn't see you come back in and I wanted to make sure you were okay." She sat down on the bench next to me. "I'm sorry, Eliza," I said.

"What for?"
"I- er- um," I searched for the right words to say.
"What is it?"
"I'm in love with someone else," I said.
There was a silence.
"Are you going home?" She asked.
"Yeah, I guess I am," I stood up.
"I guess I'll see you around then," she said.
"I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have, it wasn't fair to you-"
"Alex I'm going to tell you to shut up now. This is really a jerk move you're pulling here but I can't change who you love so I'm going to tell you to go. Okay?"
"Okay," I replied, slowly walking away.

I ran towards the bus station, desperate to get home to Laurens as soon as possible. I didn't even know what I would do once I found him but I knew I just had to see him.

I ran up the stairs to our apartment, down the hall, and opened the door as quickly as I could. "John! John, I'm home and I'm so so sorry, I..." The house was completely silent. I opened the door to Laurens' room. He was asleep on his bed, still wearing his clothes from the day. I closed the door. I'll make it all up to him tomorrow, I thought. As I fell asleep I began formulating a plan in my head as how to tell him that I loved him. Why should I tell him, though, I thought, he probably doesn't even like me, I'm nowhere good enough for him. I reached towards my bedside table for some water but froze when I felt my hand brush across a note. I picked it up and rolled over to read it. It was from Laurens. I flicked on my light to read it. 

Dear Alexander,

I don't really know how to say this but I love you. I love you more than all the stars in the sky. I know that's really cheesy but it's all I can think of at the moment. You probably won't even ever read this. I've loved you from the moment I first laid eyes on you and I swear I fall in love with you over and over again every single day. I can't live without you, it's like you're my heart and my blood won't flow without you. I can't think or breathe without you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. It's like I can't say it enough. Anyway, I'm going to bed now, see you in the morning.

Yrs forever,

John Laurens

My heart raced. He loves me too! He loves me! I wanted to run to his room, to wake him, but he was probably really tired. Instead I picked up a pen and scrawled a note on a post-it.

Dear John Laurens,
I love you. You're the love of my life. I'm so sorry about me leaving you all alone tonight- how about I make it up to you tomorrow? A date, perhaps?

Yrs for ever and ever,

Alexander Hamilton

I left it taped to his forehead.

200 reads? Wow, thank you all so so so much! And thanks again to JohnLaurensTurtle !! Their books are really good, you definitely check them out. Thanks,

~Cather