The End

19. Frustrating

Dan's POV:

"Daniel, let go," says my dad calmly. I try to get out of his tight hold.

"No, dad, you don't understand!" I yell at him. "Phil doesn't remember me! He doesn't remember!"

This is crazy! How does Phil not remember who I am? This must be some kind of sick joke!

I struggle to hold onto Phil as my dad continues to pull me away from him. Phil gives me a worried expression, but he still looks lost.

My fingers slip out of Phil's hand and my father pulls me out of the room. As soon as we're out of the door, I feel more arms pulling me away from Phil's room. I continue to sob and the tears only blur my vision.

"No! Let me go! I need to be with Phil!"

"Mister, you need to calm down," says an unfamiliar voice, probably a nurse.

I ignore them and continue to struggle. I kick and scream at the top of my lungs for them to release me. Anybody who is looking at me probably thinks I'm crazy, but I don't care.

I need to be with Phil! 

All of a sudden, I feel really lightheaded. The air leaves my lungs, but I can't seem to get it back in. It feels as if everything is getting smaller and bigger all at the same time. I feel all the energy leave my body, making me feel weak and heavy. My vision begins to tunnel until it all eventually goes dark. The last thing I feel is a falling sensation before completely blacking out.

***

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The annoying heart monitor wakes me from the darkness. I don't know how long I've been asleep, but I still feel tired. I feel sore and I have a dull headache. 

"You're awake," says a voice to my right. I jump.

It isn't until now that I notice my surroundings. I am in Phil's hospital room. Phil sits on his bed, staring straight at me. He looks better than the last time I saw him. He wears his glasses and a large, off-white cardigan that covers the bandages on his arms. His bed isn't more than six feet away from mine. I once again wear the ugly hospital gown. There is an IV sticking out the top of my right hand.

"What hapened?" I ask in a raspy voice.

"The doctor said you fainted due to stress and fatigue," he answers with a small frown.

"How long have I been asleep?" I ask as I start to sit up.

"Probably over eight hours. They said they had to keep you sadated so you could catch up on your sleep."

"Oh," is all I say.

We stay silent for a couple of minutes. I have so many things to say, but I don't want to overwhelm him. Instead, I look past Phil and out of the window. It looks like late in the afternoon. Phil looks down at his hands. He figets with them in what I guess is nervousness.

"So, um, are you really my b-boyfriend?" he asks without looking at me. I can see a small blush cross his cheeks.

"Yes," I say.

"Oh."

"The thing you said, about Brandon, was that real?" I ask.

Phil stays quiet for a couple of seconds before whispering, "Y-yes."

"And you really don't remember anything that hppended?" I ask in a shakey voice. I feel like crying, but I hold back the tears. I stare straight at the door instead.

"I'm sorry, I don't."

I look up and see, to my surprise, that he is crying silently. The tears fall onto his lap and his shoulders shake slightly.

"Hey, don't cry," I say softly.

I get up, pulling the IV thing with me, and carefully sit next to Phil on his bed. Once I'm seated, I wrap my arms around him and pull him into a hug. He's stiff at first, but after a few seconds he relaxes and leans into me. Phil continues to cry as I try to comfort him.

"I'm sorry. Its just t-that everything is so confusing," he starts. "I wake up and d-discover that I've lost a year of my memory. Then, it turns out I have y-you as a boyfriend and that in itself seems too good to be true! You make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside just by looking at or having you around and I have no idea why! I find out, from a therapist I didn't even know I have, that I've r-relapsed after being eight months clean. Eight months! My whole body is sore and I have a stupid concussion that only gives me a headache and makes everything look wonky. The doctor tells me that I have a p-probability of remembering, but I shouldn't worry about it because 'the past is in the past' and 'its the present that counts'. Well, that's easy for him to say. He's not the one who's lost his mind!" Phil takes a deep breath before continuing with his rant. "Part of me wants to remember, but the other doesn't. I mean, look at me! I want to know w-what happened, but then again I don't. It must be really bad if I ended up like this and that scares me. I don't remember you and I don't know the current me. I-I want to understand, but I can't. Everything is just so damn frustrating!" 

He continues to sob after he's done talking. I kiss the side of his head before holding him closer.

"I have no idea what you're going through, but I promise that I'll never leave you. I'll always be here, even if you don't remember. If you don't remember, we'll just go make new memories, memories that are so great you won't even want to remember the old ones," I say to him. A few tears slip down my face, but he doesn't notice.

"Y-you promise?" Phil asks.

"I promise."

That night, we both fall asleep on his bed, wrapped in each others arms.

* * * * * *

This is one of those chapters that I had no idea where it was going, but I think it turned out okay. What do y'all think?

I really suck at all the medical stuff so, sorry if I rush their recovery in the next chapter(s). I just want them to move on from the hospital and get to the other things.

I want to know what you guys think. Comment and vote so I know what's up (and because im lonely hmu yoooo).

Thanks for reading :)

-Ana 🔆