you were my sunshine

o2*

YOU NEVER KNOW, DEAR, HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU / PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY SUNSHINE AWAY

my friends told me i was smitten. and they weren't completely wrong - as a matter of fact, they were completely right, but still. i hated their teasing, hated how loud their voices were, hated how they were the ones who pushed me to talk to you. hated how i absolutely didn't hate them at all for all the things they did, because i knew i wouldn't have even thought of talking to you if it weren't for them.

knowing you was the best thing that has ever happened to my life. it still is, sometimes.  

so my friends decided they suddenly wanted to come to the library with me. their reason was that they wanted to spend more time with me, but i knew better.

i didn't try to stop them though; a part of me wanted them to see you too, because you were just that kind of person.

to say they were looking forward to meet you was an understatement. they were more than excited. i'm sure they already told you this, but i used to talk about you a lot. about how i could figure out whatever was happening in a book you're reading because of your facial expressions, about how you were always the last person to leave the library besides me, about how your smiles always felt genuine despite us being strangers to each other, about how you were you.

then they saw you. and, yeah, i guess i saw this coming: them blackmailing me into talking to you and inviting you over for lunch. and again, yeah, so maybe deep down i was anticipating that part where circumstances force me to finally have an interaction with you that wasn't a simple eye contact and smiles shared between two strangers. i'm grateful my friends did exactly what i wanted them to, but that didn't stop me from feeling mortified. i was afraid that you'd say no, that you preferred to be alone. but you didn't do any of that.

you nodded and smiled at us - the small, shy smile of yours i have grown to love the more i saw it.

you know, you surprised us during lunch. the quiet person in the library i talked to them about was far different from the one eating with us. you were actually pretty funny. we all loved your loud, boisterous presence, the exact opposite of the way you smiled. you were so not like the first impression we had of you, but that wasn't a bad thing. it was more of a good thing.

we hung out as friends for about a year. then after your birthday, i mustered enough courage to tell you how i felt about you. i thought you would laugh it off, pretend i was joking. or worse, you'd tell me that there was someone else you already liked. but you didn't do any of those. you were always full of surprises.

you told me that you love me too. 

that night, i stayed up and waited for a shooting star. but despite my efforts to stay awake, i wasn't able to, even when i wanted to see it so badly. so i left a note on my desk instead, in case the shooting star dropped by for a visit in my sleep.

"please don't take my sunshine away."