Chapter 17: Pain

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It has been a week since everyone left to find Sasuke and the last I heard from Tsunade was that they were fallowing his scent to a small village. I was walking home from my latest appointment when I stopped to look at a book stand. My fingers brushed over the spines, smiling at the memories that would pop into my head each time I touched one that Kakashi and I exchanged.

Cook books; 'Kakashi and I cooking together for the first time, Kakashi and I having a food fight, Kakashi cooking with no shirt on... Yum.'

Fishing; 'Kakashi and I fishing by the river, Kakashi soaked with water after falling in, Kakashi taking his clothes off for them to dry... Yum'

Sparing; 'Kakashi and I training with each other, Kakashi getting frustrated, Kakashi sweaty after training... Yum'

Romance... My face heated up when I thought of the first time Kakashi had given me one of the Icha Icha Paradise books. 'Kakashi.... I miss you...' I thought as my mind relived that awkward moment which completely killed my perverted thoughts. I had just pulled out a book about dogs and babies bonding because let's face it I am going to need it with all Kakashi's dogs when the bookstore clerk waved me over. "Hello Emiko, how are you today?" The sweet old man asked. "I am good, how are you?" I replied smiling. "Good, good. Your tall friend ordered these a while ago." He said as he handed me a stack of books. "Oh, thank you I will bring them home." I responded with a bigger smile once I noticed the stack of baby books and more specifically the dog and baby bonding book I had been looking at. 'Looks like Kakashi was a step ahead of me...' I thought smiling. My smile didn't last very long because Shizune came rushing into the little store. "EMIKO! Tsunade wants to see you! It's about the mission." She yelled breathing heavily. I quickly put the book back and ran as fast as my belly would allow me. 'Kakashi you better be alright...'

I couldn't get past the loud ringing in my ears and the pounding in my chest as I tried to listen as Tsunade continued to talk.. 'Itachi.... Sasuke killed Itachi...' I honestly couldn't explain the feeling of burning pain in my chest or why I felt it in the first place because I knew that Itachi's death was a likely outcome and that he was a criminal, but as I sat there only half hearing Tsunade speak, absent mindedly rubbing my belly and trying my best to breath past the rising panic, I felt it.... The hot tears that begun to stream down my cheeks. At first my crying shocked me but as the first sob that fallowed the warm liquid came out I couldn't help but feel the heartbreak rip through me at Itachi's loss. My friend, the father of my child was gone... Not only was Itachi dead but Sasuke wouldn't be coming home....

I tried my best to listen pass my tears as Tsunade told me about the group's run in with Kabuto and the confirmation of Orochimaru's death or their run in with Tobi or how by the time they made it to the hideout both Sasuke and Itachi's bodies were already gone. The more she spoke the more the pain in my cheat became unbearable. 'I am so sorry Itachi... Why? Why did you fallow this path?... Sasuke.. Poor Sasuke.. What is he going to do when he realizes his brother is wasnt the monster he thought... You don't know he was innocent Emiko.. Why am I feeling like this...? Why did he have to die? Itachi... You were always so kind to me... Itachi....' I was so engrossed in the pain in my heart that I didn't notice the pain that begun low in my stomach until my water broke... I was taken to the hospital so fast that I don't really remember the trip there, the pain from my contractions came with more intensity and frequency that I honestly couldn't tell you why I was crying anymore. My sobs continued even without the pain of my contractions and weather it was because of Itachi's death, Sasuke not coming home, or the way the white walls made me feel so alone I was unsure but one thing was for sure, child birth hurt.... A lot.

I only half heard Tsunade telling me it was almost time to push when my hand suddenly became warm. I turned to see Kakashi there, still in full gear and a sad look in his eye. "Kakashi... Ahhhhhh!" I screamed. "I'm here Emiko, I'm here, you are doing so good." He said as he held my hand and kissed my temple. "Kakashi I Ahhh! I can't do this! I can't!" I screamed. "Yes, you can, you are already almost done. I love you. You are so beautiful." My words were cut off by another contraction then suddenly everything moved very fast. Tsunade and Shizune moved me into position, Kakashi held my hand and tried to be encouraging as I pushed and pushed for what seemed like hours and then I heard it.. the most beautiful sound ever.. My baby crying.... Then the world seemed to slow down, the pain subsided and exhaustion started to take over. "He is beautiful Emiko." Tsunade said as she handed me the sweetest little thing. "What is his name?" A nurse asked. "Shisui.. his name is Shisui." I responded with a small smile and a silent tear. As I ran my fingers through my sweet baby boy's head of thick black hair and looked into his beautiful blue eyes my heart felt as if it would burst from both sadness and happiness.

"Emiko.. I'm sorry I couldn't bring Sasuke home." Kakashi said. "I know... I just wish Sasuke was caught before he did something he will regret one day... I wish Shisui wasn't born on the day Itachi died... I wish..." I sighed. "It doesn't matter, how did you get here so fast?" I asked. Kakashi stood up and sat next to me on the bed. "I ran straight here after we realized Sasuke was gone, Naruto and the others should be here soon... Can I?" Kakashi asked as he held his hands out for Shisui. My heart just about beat out of my chest when I placed him in Kakashi's arms, the look Kakashi gave me was one of pure joy and when Shisui reached out and touched Kakashi's face as he pulled his mask down I swear I could see Kakashi melting with each passing second. "Emiko, I love you... Both of you. I am going to be the best father ever...... What... What is Shisui's last name going to be? Hatake or Uchiha?" Kakashi asked as he laid Shisui down and came back to sit with me.

"I... I don't know... I want him to know where he comes from but... I don't want everyone to treat him badly..." I said as I started to cry again. Kakashi wrapped his arm around my shoulder and held me close. "Shhh Emiko, no matter how much I don't like it I understand... We can use my name and when he gets older we can tell him his heritage..." He said in a soothing tone. "Besides once we get married I will adopt him anyway." Kakashi said into my hair.

"Wait married?" I asked, pulling away from him. "Yes, married.. Emiko I know why you called it off before but I want to marry you. Not because you need protection but because I want you to be my wife... I love you and I know you love me.. So, will you.. Marry me?" Kakashi asked. "No... my eyes widened when the word left my mouth followed by laughter. I mean yes, yes I'll marry you." I responded laughing at Kakashi's shocked expression. "You scared me for a minute there." He said between kisses. "KAKASHI- SENSEI! Why did you run off so fast!?!" Naruto yelled as he came in the room. "Be quite you idiot! There is a baby in here!" Sakura yelled as she hit Naruto on the head causing Shisui to let out an annoyed cry. Both Naruto and Sakura got quite and slowly walked to Shisui's bassinet with awed expressions on their faces. "C- can I hold him?" Naruto asked silently. Kakashi got up and showed Naruto how to hold him. The sight was one of the sweetest I had ever seen, Naruto was so quiet and so gentle as he rocked him and softly talked to Shisui about his Uncle Sasuke with tears barley being suppressed. I finally let sleep take me as I watched Naruto, Sakura and Kakashi lean over and tell the now sleeping baby stories of team 7.

I woke up sometime late at night to Shisui making sweet cooing noises. I nearly choked on my breath when I saw Itachi... No, not Itachi, Sasuke standing over the bassinet. "Sasuke?" I whispered not believing my eyes. "Oneesan... I am sorry... So sorry." Sasuke said with tears running down his cheeks. "Sasuke... I.. I am glad you are safe..." I said as I patted the bed next to me. Sasuke unwrapped Shisui's little fingers from holding his much bigger finger and sat down slowly and I couldn't help but see the solemn little boy from years ago sitting before me. "Emiko... did you know? Did you know he was a hero?" Sasuke asked. "I always felt he wasnt the monster everyone said he was.. I even tried to have both the third and fourth Hokage look into the massacre further but with no luck... But no, I did not know for sure he was a hero." I replied. Sasuke begun to tell me what Tobi/ Madara told him about the Uchiha uprising, the cover up and Itachi joining the Akatsuki to save the village and with each word my heart broke a little more. "Sasuke... I am so sorry... I should have pushed harder, the Itachi I knew loved you and this village... I saw him deter the Akatsuki's plans more than once when I was fallowing him and the night he discovered me... He could have killed me but instead he treated me with kindness... I wish we could have found this out sooner.. Are you coming home?" I asked. Sasuke sat there for a moment then turned to face me. "No, Emiko... I.. I have somethings to do first... What is his name?" Sasuke asked looking away. I grabbed his hand as I began to cry. "It's Shisui... Itachi asked for his name to be Shisui... Please Sasuke.. Please just come home." I begged. "Shisui... That was Itachi's best friend... I have a nephew.... I am sorry Oneesan but I can't come home just yet..." Sasuke said as he kissed my forehead and then disappeared...

I cried and cried for hours that night, Itachi was dead, Sasuke wasn't coming home, something in Sasuke's eyes had changed and I am scared of what is to come next for the little Uchiha. I had a feeling life was only going to get harder from here on out. As sleep finally claimed me I felt a small sense of peace as the image of Kakashi holding Shisui came to mind 'Kakashi..'

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I am sooooo sorry it took so long for an update! Life got the best of me for a while there thank you to everyone who kept reading and a special thank you to those who have been so supportive!

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