The Mayo Fic

Tyler stood in the kitchen frowning into the fridge. He was was a little bit annoyed today. He had run out of mayonnaise! Josh had eaten the last jar sometime last night while Tyler was sleeping. Josh often ate Tyler's food, but he knew Tyler was saving that for a special occasion!!

"Good morning, Tyler!" Josh said, smiling.

"No it most certainly is not!" Tyler replied, angrily. "You ate my mayonnaise!"

"I was hungry and you weren't gonna eat it." Said Josh.

"Maybe I was gonna use it! I don't get why you always have to eat my stuff, Josh. Maybe you should leave the band." Tyler said, going back to his room and slamming the door behind him.

Josh did feel a little bad about eating his friends mayonnaise, but he had been really hungry!! And Tyler could go buy more mayonnaise if he really wanted..         Josh took some of Tyler's money and went out to the store. He had to make it up to Tyler somehow..

He walked over to the condiments isle and started looking for mayonnaise. It wasn't hard to miss, so once he located it, he put a few jars in his cart. And by a few, I mean 21. He paid for the mayo and then went back to Tyler's house. Tyler hadn't left his room, so Josh just went straight to the bathroom. He opened all the jars of mayo and poured them right into the tub. After putting all the mayo in the tub, Josh started taking off his clothes. Underneath his clothes, Josh was wearing a sparkly, red, spandex thong. He slowly dipped his toes into the tub to see how cold the mayo was, and then lowered himself into it.

"Hey Tyler, come here!" Josh called.

After a few minutes, Tyler opened the bathroom door and stared in at Josh. 

"..What are you doing?!" Tyler asked, looking confused. 

"I think you know what I'm doing, Tyler." Josh replied, seductively. 

Tyler nodded his head, softly. Josh stood up out of the tub, mayonnaise slowly falling off his body. Tyler's eyes widened as he saw what Josh was wearing. Josh reached his hand out towards his friend. Tyler trned around and rushed out of the bathroom. Josh dropped his hand as he watched his friend run away. He flopped back into the mayonnaise in defeat. He had spent a lot of money on this mayo!! Granted, it was Tyler's.. but still.

He was just about to get out of the tub, when the door opened and Tyler came back into the room. Tyler was wearing nothing but fishnet stockings. 

"I knew you'd be back." Josh said, with a smirk. 

He gestured for Tyler to join him in the tub. Tyler didn't even hesitate, he just slid right in. Like a fish sliding down a wet slide. The mayonnaise made a wet squelching sound as Tyler submerged himself in it.

"Mmm.." Josh moaned. "I love the sound of mayonnaise."

Josh leaned forward and began licking the mayonnaise off Tyler's neck, working his way up to his lips. Josh and Tyler's lips collided in a wet kiss full of passion, and mayonnaise. They passionately made love in the bathtub for over an hour, losing track of the tim as theh lost themselves in each other. After they engaged in slimey bathtub sex, Tyler asked Josh what they should do with all the leftover mayonnaise. 

"Well..this is just an idea.. but how about weslather it all over our bodies and pretend we're giant slugs while having wild butt sex?" Josh suggested

"I like the sound of that!" Tyler replied, with a mischievous grin.

Tyler and josh slowly and carefully got out of the tub, and then began rubbing mayonnaise all over their bodies. Once there was an inch of mayo on each of their bodies, the two friends started the snail butt sex. Snail sex isn't hard, if you know what you're doing. Luckily for Tyler, Josh was a snail sex professional!