Cease the Second Kind

Chapter 6

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Chapter 6

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            Amanda lay there fatigued in the queen sized bed.  She was curled up to the still form of Benjamin Ross, who she believed to be fast asleep.  Her hand was on his chest which calmly rose and fell with each breath he took.  His arm was underneath her head like a pillow.  Dreamily she looked up into his peaceful face. She wondered how she got to this point so fast with him, and was startled as to why she felt so right about it.  In the course of an hour she fell madly in love with the boy.  To rationalize it she claimed it was in the moment of deep solemnity from the news of his terminal pancreatic cancer.  But deep down, Amanda knew that these feelings were near surfacing anyways.  There was always a special attraction between them, even when they were in relationships with others.

            Amanda pressed herself closer to Benjamin and put her palm on his bare chest.  After their shared kiss in the park they left and she stayed the night in Benjamin’s bed.  There was no lovemaking; rather they reveled in the comfort of each other’s presence.  As time passed she remained sleepless and gave up.  Quietly she shimmied out from underneath Benjamin’s arm and off the bed without stirring him, and she grabbed a blanket that fell to the ground and wrapped it around her.  She walked out of the bedroom and into the living room where she was spooked to see Trevor Ross, Benjamin’s terminal father, sitting on the couch, one leg over the other, taking puffs on a cigar.  The butt of the cigar glowed a deep red in the darkness of the room.

            “Oh, Mr. Ross!” She quietly exclaimed in surprise.  She was immediately embarrassed by how it looked.  Her wrapped in Benjamin’s blanket, and walking out of his room in the dead of the night.

            His teeth were white in the moonlight pouring in through the window as his mouth spread into a smile.  “Amanda, I had no idea you were here.”

            She gulped and said while stuttering “it—it isn’t what it looks like.  Me and Ben didn’t—”

            The man nodded and interrupted her.  “Even if you did,” he began, “I wouldn’t have minded.  You two are something special, and I trust you and Ben.”  He puffed on the cigar and waited a few moments and exhaled the acrid smoke, which Amanda began to smell.

            She found a seat on the couch.  “Thanks,” was all she could manage to say.

            Trevor Ross cleared his throat.  “Did Ben tell you?”

            “Tell me what?” she asked.

            “About…you know,” gesturing to his body.

            “Oh!  Yeah he did.  I’m so sorry Mr. Ross.”

            Amanda watched him shrug calmly.  “I wasn’t too happy to hear it.  I guess I’m in such shock that it doesn’t bother me yet.”  She was shocked by his blatant indifference.  Amanda knew for a fact that she would break down and cry if she were told she were terminal.  A shiver ran up her spine at the mere thought of that ever happening to her.  One of her many great fears, is death itself.  “One thing is for certain though.”  Ross stated.  “I’m not really looking at myself, so much as seeing the disorder and decay of everything around me.  It is really strange, but when I learned I was dying, I saw how everything paralleled and that society was dying around us.”